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I apologize that I won't be able to directly help answer your question as I don't directly IMAP my GroupWise account, but do have a little info that might help and an alternate way to do things that has been working great for me.
Most IMAP clients have an "expunge" or "purge" option when for when you delete an email, which you need to find and change that setting to make the strike through messages back in your inbox disappear immediately when you delete an item from your Pre. I don't know where/if this setting is available in the Pre, it isn't on the iPhone from what a number of developers and iPhone users tell me.
What I do instead is the following... I have a dummy gmail account set up for my GW calendar sync, but I added the ability to send messages as another account feature to that account as well. I've created a rule in GroupWise to automatically forward anything that I've received to the Gmail account. You might need to tweak the rule as I didn't realise how much junk messages I get that automatically go to folders. If I need to reply to something from my Pre, it appears to come directly from my GroupWise server, even though it doesn't. The nice thing is that you can set up this rule and test it until you're comfortable with it before actually replying to other people from the Pre. One additional thing is that you might want to ask your Administrator to turn on "Flat Forwarding" for this to work nicer. What this will do is when you forward a message automatically from your account to your Gmail account, Gmail will receive the message as if it were sent from the original sender. Otherwise every message that you receive on your Pre will appear as something like "from: you@work.com, to: you@gmail.com"
A draw back of this setup is that when you delete messages you'll need to delete them from both your pre/Gmail account and back when you get to the office from GroupWise.
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