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  1. vyness's Avatar
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    Hahaha. I love this message board. Thanks for a good laugh
  2. #22  
    El ohh el !!!!!
  3. #23  
    I just wish some of the complainers could be a little more eloquent. Something like this:

    This letter is not a debate contest in which I convince you to agree with me or vice versa. This letter is concerned only with establishing the truth about Palm. Here's a quick review: Palm's obloquies represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death. The objection may still be raised that Palm's ebullitions provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: If you read Palm's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. But if you read its writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that my current plan is to demonstrate conclusively that it, who has posed as Savior of the World, is nothing else but the world's seducer, its destroyer, its incendiary, and its executioner. Yes, Palm will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but if we fail to set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teaches us that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Palm. Here's what I have to say to them: Palm asserts that it has the mandate of Heaven to require religious services around the world to begin with "Palm is great; Palm is good; we thank Palm for our daily food". Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence.

    Still, Palm is typical of shrewish, insensitive scoundrels in its wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize its criticisms. In the strictest sense, if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will indeed find that I hate it when people get their facts entirely wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel, I can't help but think that one of Palm's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its solutions that grant it the freedom to inject its lethal poison into our children's minds and souls, never the original problem.

    Already, some mindless, empty-headed harijans have begun to produce precisely the alienation and conflict needed to ignore compromise and focus solely on Palm's personal agenda, and with terrifying and tragic results. What quips will follow from their camp is anyone's guess. Palm's primary goal is to blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of its cantankerous orations. All of its other objectives are secondary to this one supreme purpose. That's why you must always remember that Palm's apparatchiks are merely ciphers. Palm is the one who decides whether or not to create a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration. Palm is the one who gives out the orders to attack my character. And Palm is the one trying to conceal how we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: Palm. And that, in my view, is our real problem.

    This is of course a joke.
    Auto complaint generator: Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
  4. vyness's Avatar
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    18 Global Posts
    Ohhhh, until I got to the bottom of the above post, I though someone had way too much time on their hands. Hehe.
  5. #25  
    Quote Originally Posted by vyness View Post
    Ohhhh, until I got to the bottom of the above post, I though someone had way too much time on their hands. Hehe.
    Sounds like some of the crap you hear out of politicians mouths. "How to say nothing in 1000 words or less".
  6. #26  
    Quote Originally Posted by pogeypetey View Post
    Sounds like some of the crap you hear out of politicians mouths. "How to say nothing in 1000 words or less".
    Politicians mouths??? How about "regular precentral 'contributors'"?
  7. ajk511's Avatar
    116 Posts
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    137 Global Posts
    Pre ---- ajk511
  8. #28  
    Best thread in a while!!
    Sony Clie --> Tungsten t2 --> iPhone3g --> Palm Pre --> Droid
  9. #29  
    Quote Originally Posted by hparsons View Post
    Politicians mouths??? How about "regular precentral 'contributors'"?
    For example...
  10. #30  
  11. #31  
    These are so much fun. The people in the office must be going bonkers right now because I'm laughing so loudly.
  12. firstimer's Avatar
    92 Posts
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    95 Global Posts
    All we need now is a " holier than thou response" that rips the op as a iphone fanboy or troll and we're set. We got both sides of the posts covered. Kewl
  13. #33  
    Nailed it!
  14. #34  
    Major resurrection of an old dead post, just for the sake of hilarity! I LMAO'd!
  15. #35  
    Quote Originally Posted by verwon View Post
    Major resurrection of an old dead post, just for the sake of hilarity! I LMAO'd!
    LOL... I was wondering how this thing came back to life! Was ready to get out the pitchforks and torches in case it was a zombie-thread
  16. #36  
    Quote Originally Posted by dianehelen View Post

    Reminds me of MadLibs

    but, then Im probably the only one old enough to know what that was

    Thanks for the laugh, on an otherwize annoying stressful day..

    The only GOOD part of MY day has been playing with my PRE

  17. #37  
    Quote Originally Posted by tlaz View Post
    Since we see 1 or 2 of these daily, I thought I'd make it easier for whiners to hate on the Pre and Palm by using this fabulous whining post. Just select your choice from each of the sections in red and cut and paste - it's free!

    My 30 day trial is up/almost up and I'm thinking about leaving/sadly returning the Pre to go back to my Blackberry/iPhone/HTC Hero/Android phone.
    Fabulous! Next serve "some whine before it's time" by guessing what people will be whining about no matter what the next phone is like.

    4" screen ... it should have been a 4.5" screen.
    dual core... but they don't has as many apps as _____ ,so who cares anyway

  18. #38  
    they need to make this sticky for EVERY topic here, and include it in the 'similar' posts that pop up when people try to start a new thread...
  19. #39  
    Quote Originally Posted by pogeypre View Post
    Actually, it needs to randomly put in something offensive to get the thread closed after 10 entries and then generate another one that starts out with how they have been wronged by the senseless disregard for their first ammendment rights, and then have that one closed by the mods.

    Finally it resubmits under another username that is only slightly different from the first. OP from totallycoolawesomeguy and followup thread from totallycoolawesomeguy1.
    I've reported this post.
  20. tsnum4's Avatar
    330 Posts
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    338 Global Posts
    haha i didnt realize it was resurrected and enjpyed it so much I gave three thanks out! hahahah better give one to verwon for bringing it back nad giving me a laugh
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