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Actually, Synergy allows the Pre to match incoming messages like this against the hidden "significant other" flag that's set in one's spouse's, girlfriend's, boyfriend's, partner's, etc. contact record. When the Pre senses that the significant other is present, it then makes sure to highlight any relevant notifications like this at precisely the right moment. For your significant other, I mean. At precisely the wrong moment for the Pre's owner (it's a very principled device). This feature overrides any other notifications settings, and can't be turned off.
Roger McNamee talked about this feature in an interview a few months ago. He was pretty excited about it (but then, he's not currently in a relationship). Oddly enough at the time, Palm didn't disavow this particular claim, but now we know why.
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