I only post the review to point out the best user comment I have ever seen...

Why Wait? The World's First iPhone 5* Review

Steve Jobs was sitting in his secret layer, personally guarding every single pre-release piece of tech day and night. He was happy. No leaks this time. He had personally counted every single prototype that had gone out, and made sure that they returned. Safely. All of them.

He even had his men carrying the devices for field-testing followed, lest they let some outsider see them. And he had the followers followed. Backups, as they say, are important.

But there was little room for error this time. Everything was running smoothly. Bits and pieces of info had leaked out, but nothing too concrete. "Let the fools speculate," thought Jobs to himself. "Hee hee, I don't even have to pay for my own products' build-up."

Smiling absently, Jobs leaned back on his chair and took a sip of green-tea from his clay-pot. In front of him, on a desk, was a gleaming desktop. Not just any desktop... it was one of the earliest prototypes for iMacs with touchscreens, running Mac OS 11. It was his newest obsession these days. He loved to surf the web with it, move between browser taps with three-finger swipes and playing with this new prototype game app that let him literally slap Ballmer's face; on the screen. This little beast of a computer will be out for the ******* by 2014, but until then, it was his own to play with. He leaned onto 27" HD touchscreen and kissed it. A ripple went through the screen, as though someone had playfully touched the surface of a calm, crystal-clear lake.

"My precious," whispered Jobs.

Since there was nothing much to do, he decided to troll Gizmodo for a while. These guys got the jump on him about iPhone 4. Since then he had been regularly bugging their site. So far, with twelve different commenter accounts, he had been banned eight times, starred nine times and unstarred seven times. But this game is getting old. These people ****ed themselves with the design. And with no access to Apple's main events, their popularity was sure to go downhill. Not to mention they wouldn't get any scoop on Apple ever again. No one would, for that matter. His plan this time was air-tight (here Jobs remembered he needed to check on the new folding Macbook Airs tomorrow) and it was working perfectly. No mistakes this time, thought Jobs, or my name ain't Steve.

But old habits die hard. Jobs opened Gizmodo. He had actually grown to like the new blog view. He wondered if he owned any patent that would make it illegal for them to use it.

And then he saw it.


The security guard outside the door was drooling on Megan Fox pictures on his first-generation iPad. Suddenly, he heard a heart-rending cry from inside that made him jump in shock, dropping the tablet from his hand.

Jobs was screaming, in a Darth Vader voice, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......"
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