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  1.    #1  
    Apple Engineer:
    What you want is impossible, as evidenced by the fact that we don't sell it. Other companies may claim to already have these features, but please -- we outsell them ten to one, so guess who's lying. Want proof? We sell the most phones because we're the best. Why are we the best? Well, because we sell the most phones! It's simple logic, so simple in fact that we call it the iLogic. So believe us when we say, the technology just isn't there yet. We'll let you know when it is. Trust us. It's gonna revolutionize existence as you know it... you'll never think about Thermodynamics with the same brain!

    HTC / Motorola Engineer:
    What you want is impossible... but you know, Android doesn't cost us a dime, so I suppose we can just make something that comes somewhat close and spend half of the bucks we save on software on making a dozen slightly different hardware shells for it, and the other half on non-stop, in-your-face advertising. There's no risk at all! 90% of people won't know the difference no matter what, and for the Sheldon Coopers of this world, well, we can use some leftover money on Star Wars licensing. How about a golden Threepeoh special edition? It's gonna sell like hotcakes!

    HP Palm Engineer:
    What you want is not impossible! In fact, as a company with as long a history of excellence as ours - as the company who invented the smartphone - we know exactly what you want, and know exactly how to get you there. HP Palm is acutely aware that the future of computing is in mobile, in the cloud, and in providing an overarching experience across multiple interconnected form factors. In fact, we're busy whipping something up that fills your bill precisely, but i'm not quite at liberty to discuss it yet. I can't say any more right now, but something HUGE is coming... in the coming months. So stay tuned!

    Nokia Engineer:
    What you want is a 2003 model 6548, because that's when we started shipping all of these features. It didn't have a touchscreen though. Doesn't count, eh? Fair enough.

    Verizon Engineer:
    What you want is impossible. We've had to disable that native feature in order to improve user-friendliness for our valued customers - a service we have been providing to our valued customers for years now. For your user-friendliness, we do recommend that you buy a DROID™ handset, which does indeed offer a feature like that which we didn't disable, and/or purchase our Verizon-branded premium solution for the low, low price of 9,95 a month! You see, all we want at Verizon is to make you, the customer, happy. And we know you can't be happy if you don't have something that's unique to Verizon.

    Star Trek Engineer:
    What you want is physically impossible. Give me two hours. poster:
    What I want is EXACTLY this phone right here. It's just PERFECT! It's beautiful and has the perfect specs. Gigahertz processor, yum! If it were running webOS, I'd be all over it, but HP simply seems incapable of releasing anything with these specs or this quality. Palm simply sucks too much to ever release a high-end device like this. What's that you say? That -IS- the new webOS phone? Well, too little too late, HP! I'm jumping ship NOW!
    Last edited by GodShapedHole; 01/01/2011 at 09:36 AM.
  2. #2  
    Funny. how about one for the users/buyers
  3. #3  
    LOL good post
  4. #4  
    How could you forget the whiny sprint pre and pixie owners???
  5. #5  
    webOS Fanatic
    What you want is irrelevant. If you really must have those basic features, just wait for the Homebrewers to create a patch for it. webOS is the best OS ever. EVER! Our App Catalog does not suck, you are simply unreasonable. Other platforms may have more apps but they are all junk and we have no junk. Other platforms may grow faster than us but have you seen our card view? Developers are flocking to produce apps for other platforms but that's because they are too lazy or incompetent to produce webOS apps. The world will become webOS' b!tch, just wait. It will happen starting when our catalog goes public, no when it allows paid apps, no when it hits Verizon, no when we get international paid apps, no at CES 2010, no when the PDK is out, no after the app contest, no after the PDK app contest, no after the merger, no after hybrid apps are allowed, no after CES 2011, no when the PalmPad launches, no when a veriiiiiety of devices hit. You just wait! In the coming months, we are gonna run this b-yautch. Our ship is not sinking, we are simply converting to a submarine! Enyo Face!
  6. #6  
    excellent parody!

    but the star trek engineer has the wrong quote. it should probably say "I'm giving you all she's got, Captain!"

  7. philbw's Avatar
    310 Posts
    Global Posts
    352 Global Posts
    Wow, this post was brilliant (as well as the fanatic post following). Thanks for the laugh.
  8. #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by taharka View Post
    webOS Fanatic
    Our ship is not sinking, we are simply converting to a submarine! Enyo Face!
    Best part ever! So funny, so true...

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