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  1. NRG
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    Quote Originally Posted by Advance The Man
    Went through an arduous, similar process with my father's death last December. Hang in there and when times get tough thinking of the present, think of the wonderful times from the past. I'll say several prayers for you and your family.
    Some of the best words
  2. #22  
    My heart goes out to you and your family. I know you feel that your life may as well be over too, but hang in there for your daughter. She needs you now more than ever and you need her now more than ever. Be strong, you'll get through this.
    Make It Happen!!
    If you don't, who will?
  3. #23  
    Quote Originally Posted by NRG
    please fill us non-loopers in
    .....<a href="">TreoCentral</a> | <a href="">VisorCentral</a> Forum Moderator - Forum Guidelines
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  4. NRG
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    I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you and your family. I can't really comprehend losing a best friend and lover as you have. Although I can relate with losing someone close, as I have lost my brother in 2001, my mom in 2002, and my dad in 2004. Mind you I am only 30. So I feel I can somewhat understand what you are going through,albeit not as throughly as you. My heart goes out to you and your family and the thing that got me through it all was the understanding that you nor I or anyone else has any control over the matter of them passing. So try and keep your chin up and remember that you will probably realize you have more friends than you thought.
  5. #25  
    hey man...i consider myself a very heartless person...but dang it all...this aint terribly sorry for your loss...guy, i dont know what else to say, except that this mofo here has your support...all the best...
  6. #26  
    Quote Originally Posted by clownracer
    i really cant handle life right now this has been the worst experiance of my life

    Life tests us, and while right now it seems as though it's too much too handle, we all soon realize that our memories keep us close to those we've lost.

    My Aunt Marian was my friend. Six years ago she was stricken with ARDS and after no response to meds, she was placed in a drug-induced coma in hope for recovery. She did recover that lapse, and after three months in therapy (to learn how to situp, walk and get though daily tasks) she came home. It was a struggle for her to breathe and talk, but she resolved herself to set one goal - to build memories. She spent her final few years doing just that.

    I never really got how important that is, until she passed this last March. But I instantly realized that I was so touched having her in my life, that I would have been a lesser person had I not had these great memories of someone who just loved me.

    It is not easy (I still hear her every day, and I assume I will for the rest of my days), but the memories... they get me through each day. My aunt's passing was a wake-up call - not just a kick in the **** about how important it is to just build memories with those you love, but also inspiration to make changes in my life - in HER memory.

    As odd as it seems, her passing was a blessing. For her, because she is no longer suffering. For me, because I no longer have to watch her suffer, but moreso, because all the things she tried to instill in my during her life are finally being acted upon. I know she's happy with the new choices I've made in my life - and she deserves the credit of giving me the push to do them.

    Not having someone right by our side physically is painful. But making changes, setting goals and building memories with others is such a tribute to the ones we've lost.

    I come from a large family and many of us hadn't taken the time to visit in years. The weekend of Marian's funeral, we all went out - more than 20 of us, each night and just ate, talked, toasted Marian's life and just... well, we grew closer in those short instances. Since then we now have family message boards, and we're planning to take trips with each other and build real memories for ourselves, our immediate families, and friends who are considered family. Marian's passing brought us together, and the memory of her will live on in us forever.

    As you get through the first phase of these very trying times, never lose focus on what matters the most - you, your daughter, your family and your friends. Lean on them, and when you can, let them lean on you. And most of all, resolve to build more memories - because that really is what life is all about.

    I am sharing with you (and the rest of the group here) some things I wrote that sum up - the first was written while on night shift at the hospital when my aunt was in the coma (we all took shifts for some 40+ days, and mine was from 10 a.m. to 7 a.m.). We wound up doing a booklet for my aunt's services and this poem was included, then read by my other aunt at the service (at the time, I had simply put "anonymous" as the author). But now, I'm happy to share.

    The second a eulogy (three of us spoke at the service).

    I share these in hope it will help you gain strength and ease these painful times for you and your family.


    For Marian...

    When the night is dark
    And the stars shine bright
    I think of you
    And all your might

    When the moon is full
    And things go wrong
    I think of you
    It makes me strong

    There is always someone
    Who’s always by your side
    Who never, ever lets you down
    Who never, ever hides

    You are that someone
    You mean so much to me
    And when I am around you
    I stand proudly

    When the days are long
    But I can’t seem
    To get things done
    I start to dream

    Of a world that’s filled
    With hope and love
    No pain, no fear
    Just what’s above

    Everyone has someone
    Who stands for their ideals
    Who never, ever questions them
    Who always is real

    You are that someone
    You mean so much to me
    And when I stand beside you
    I do it thankfully

    As life gives you
    It’s twists and turns
    You can’t give up
    Remember what you’ve learned

    That you are loved
    From all those around
    We’re happy to share
    The love we’ve found

    There is always someone
    Who never leaves your side
    Who never, ever lets you down
    Who never, ever hides

    I am that someone
    You mean so much to me
    And when I think about you
    I treasure all I see

    You are that someone
    To everyone who’s here
    To every single living soul
    To everyone who’s near

    When the night is dark
    And the stars shine bright
    I think of you
    And I know you’re alright

    And when I see you now
    I know it’s true
    That nothing will ever stop
    This love for you.


    When my Aunt Marian asked me if I would speak at her funeral, I said, “Of course…but, do you think I can do it?” And she replied, “Of course you can.” I didn’t really think about what she was asking until this past Tuesday. At 1 a.m. I sat on my bed wondering, can I do this? I mean, I have no problem talking in front of a room full of people. Just ask anyone who knows me—I can talk about *anything* at any time, frankly, until I drive you nuts. And, oh yes, I could drive Marian nuts with dialogue as well. But could I stand here today, in front of family, friends, all her loved ones, and talk about this person I so loved and so admired who has just passed on?

    She was my Aunt by blood. She was my friend because of the bond we had. Our *friendship* started about 9 years ago when she called me, asking if I could come and look at her computer, as I was, at the time, the family expert on that. She said, “I hear you know your stuff, is it possible to come over?” And I said, “That depends, you cook, right?” And proceeded to barter my services for a nice, rare steak. During dinner I realized that this woman wasn’t just an Aunt, but someone I could talk and spend time with. We sat down that night and watched A Few Good Men, and both agreed that Tom Cruise was the bomb. For once, I was grateful someone had all these computer problems, as she’d call every few weeks, and I got my fix for the finest meals. But more so, I found a new friend I never really noticed before, and literally fell in love.

    And through the next years we would meet up for a movie or shopping, but nothing beat the nights where we would just sit at home, have a good meal, watch Tom Cruise break down Jack Nicholson, and then converse until neither of us could keep our eyes open.

    They say it’s the little moments in life that make it so worth it, and this is true. Even when she was in the hospital during the first stage of her condition, I could feel the connection. And when she took the first steps of rehab, we all had to be strong and not let her slide on even the smallest of physical tasks. Even those moments, as difficult as they were, make me smile, as she, even then, expressed her love for everyone.

    To us all, Marian truly *did* possess the ideals we all work so hard at. And somehow, despite her disability, she made it seem… somewhat… easy at times. Somehow, she found a way, within herself, to literally make the best of it. She was dealt a hand, and she kept trading cards into the dealer, taking new ones, until she got something better.

    The “something better,” however, was for us.

    Marian had set very realistic goals for herself. She wanted to build memories.

    “I want people to remember me,” she said. “To know who I was, and just remember me always.”

    And I looked at her, a little dumbfounded, and said, “You don’t have to worry about that.”

    And she truly needn’t have.

    We all have memories of Marian—good times, a disagreement resolved, private, heart-to-heart conversation. Some we’ve talked about this past week, some we’ll talk about later today, some in future years; and some, we’ll keep to ourselves. Each of us has special moments that are just between us, and Marian.

    Marian knew that her recent years were not always easy for those around her. She was grateful she had a Rolodex full of people, all willing to come on a moments notice. She once told me that, like a business, you become a successful person by surrounding yourself by great people. And while she didn’t like calling someone in the middle of the night, putting her ideal goals first, needing to be as strong as possible so she could build more memories, she didn’t hesitate to ask for help. We’ve all been there, and whether it was stopping at the convenience store on your way home from work because she really needed creamer for her morning coffee, or a ride to the doctor’s office, where you might wind up sitting and waiting quite a while, she was grateful beyond imagination.

    Marian had a sparkle about her. From friends and colleagues, to close family, it was *she* who lit up the room as people entered. Her love of children, books and teaching was so apparent, even up till the end. But it was those “little” moments that really does it for us – a quick smile, an “I Love You,” a simple note in the mail, the look in her eyes when she talked about her grandchildren…those are the memories we will cherish the most.

    Sadly, life itself has an ending. And when we lose someone we love so much, we almost feel as if we’re left behind. We’re told that someone’s passing also needs to remind us just how short life can be, and that we need to take every moment possible to let people know how we feel. And it’s not easy between our work, tending to our own families and just handling the hustle and bustle of every day life. But when we remember Marian, we realize that it *can* be done, because she worked so hard to make the time. Even the simplest gesture of stocking the fridge with your favorite food when you came to visit, she always let you know you were welcome in her home and her life. For this, we’ll all be grateful.


    Using my treo 650 for business:
  7. #27  
    Pamela - that's beautiful, thank you for sharing it with us
  8. #28  
    Hello ClownRacer,
    I'd also like to extend my sympathy and prayers for Kayon, your daughter, you, and your family. Please remember that you and your daughter gave meaning to Kayon's life. I'm sure you have had many mixed feelings and I assure you that time, and remembering the good times and caring moments will make it easier. As hard as this has been, remember that Kayon's suffering is over and that you can pray for her and with her. Continue in the mission that you and Kayon shared in raising your daughter. Try and find people who can help you to understand what has happened and to pick up the pieces. I'll be praying for you, your daughter, family, and Kayon.

    peace, -- Bob
    PM me if you ever need advice.
  9. #29  
    sorry for your loss. we're here if you need us
    “There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order.”
    — Ed Howdershelt
    "A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have."- Thomas Jefferson
  10. #30  
    Clownracer, I am so sorry! Take it one day at a time and try keep your mind and life as occupied as you can.
    "Everyday is a Gift, A Blessing, An Opportunity!" - GM

    Phone history: Treo 600, Treo 650, Treo Centro, Pixi, Centro again, 800w, Treo 755p, Palm Pre
  11. LennyV's Avatar
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    I am so sorry about your loss clown. Take it one day at a time. Remember, your number one priority is your daughter. Help her through this difficult time....

    Ice Visor Deluxe-->Treo 90-->Treo 650--> Treo 700p-->Burgundy Treo 755p -->Onyx Centro--> Pre Minus--> Pixi Minus

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  12. #32  
    I'm terribly sorry. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us; I hope simply doing that has brought a small measure of relief. Be strong.
  13. #33  
    Deepest regrets and sorrow for your great loss...
    aka Gfunkmagic

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  14. #34  
    my sincere condolances, try to hang in there, one day it will get easier...
    As said before seek comfort with friends and family and try to talk about it as much as possible..

    take care..
    <IMG WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="50" SRC=> (ex)VisorCentral Discussion Moderator
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  15. #35  
    I am very sorry for your loss, clownracer. Take Care.
  16. #36  
    My heart goes out to you in this hard time. Please realize that she is at peace and waiting for you and your daughter, and you will all see each other again someday.
    Last edited by heberman; 07/15/2005 at 11:11 PM.
    Palm V-->Visor Deluxe-->Visor Prism-->Visorphone-->Treo 180-->Treo 600-->Treo 650 on Sprint-->Treo 700p-->Centro-->Diamond-->Pre-->HTC EVO 4g???!
  17. vw2002's Avatar
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    give yourself time with people, clownracer. As always but especially right now, family and friends are hidden treasures - seek them out at times like this. And know we are all wishing the best for you.
    I gotta have more cowbell
  18. #38  
    Clownracer, my condolences for your loss. prayers be with you and both your entire families
  19. #39  
    Sorry for you loss.
    Good luck .
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