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  1. #21  
    What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    A good start.

    (I am Heberman, and I approve of this message.)
    Palm V-->Visor Deluxe-->Visor Prism-->Visorphone-->Treo 180-->Treo 600-->Treo 650 on Sprint-->Treo 700p-->Centro-->Diamond-->Pre-->HTC EVO 4g???!
  2. #22  
    You are outstanding in your field.

    And that's where you should be -- out standing in your field.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  3. #23  
    I'd like to help you out.

    Which way did you come in?
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  4. #24  
    What do you call 2 blondes standing ear to ear? (Sorry Chick)

    Wind tunnel
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  5. #25  
    A baby seal walks into a club
  6. #26  
    A three legged dog walks into a bar.

    Bartender: What can I do for you?

    Dog: I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
  7. #27  
    A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?''

    Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''

    And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''
  8. #28  
    A guy walked into a bar... OUCH!
  9. #29  
    What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

    A pimp.
  10. #30  
    Yo' mama so poor, her face is on a food stamp!
  11. #31  
    why do women have breasts? so you have something to look at when you talk to them.
    visor deluxe->clie n760->treo 300->treo 600->treo 650 -> treo 700p -> treo 755p
    I may not know, but I'll bet my phone does!
  12.    #32  
    A little more than one line, but...good

    A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman
    appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over. The man
    pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.

    State cop: "License and registration please."
    Man: "I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"
    State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."
    Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."
    Wife: "Oh Steve, you were going at least 80!"

    State cop: "I'm also citing you for having a tail light out."
    Man:"But officer, I wasn't aware it was out."
    Wife: "Oh Steve, you know it's been out for two months."

    State Cop: "I'm also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."
    Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."
    Wife: "Oh Steve, you know you never wear your seat belt."

    Man: "Listen you dumb *&^%$, shut your !@#$' mouth!!!"
    State Cop: Ma'am, does he always talk to you this way?
    Wife: "Only when he's drunk......."
  13.    #33  
    Why do they name hurricanes with womens names?
    because when they come, they are wet & wild, when they leave they take your car & house with them...
  14. #34  
    What does a woman make for dinner?

    Reservations ....
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  15. #35  
    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a University of Snooty Law School (Insert your school here) graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Tooty University in the deep south (or some other target of ridicule here).

    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

    The Snooty graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

    "Slowly across the desert sand
    Trekked the dusty caravan.
    Men on camels, two by two

    The audience went wild! How they wondered could the redneck top that?

    The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:

    "Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
    Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
    They was three, we was two,
    So I bucked one and Timbuktu."
  16. #36  
    "Every shut eye ain't sleep and every goodbye ain't gone."

    "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice -- shame on Me."
    "Everyday is a Gift, A Blessing, An Opportunity!" - GM

    Phone history: Treo 600, Treo 650, Treo Centro, Pixi, Centro again, 800w, Treo 755p, Palm Pre
  17. #37  
    A door-to-door salesman goes up to a house. When he knocks on the door a young boy answers. The boy is smoking a cigar, drinking a can of beer, and has his arm around a hooker. The salesman asks, "Is your mum or dad in?" The boy looks at him hard and replies, "Does it look like it?"
  18.    #38  
    Just to get away form politics a little...


    A woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!


    The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?"

    She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,


    In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"

    ---Her money was refunded...
  19. #39  
    Q: What do you have when 100 Yankee fans are buries up to their heads in sand?
    A: Not enough sand!

    Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
    A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
    A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

    Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?
    A: Their personalities.

    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.

    Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"

    "Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied.

    The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"

    "I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.

    The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"

    "Because my Mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"

    "Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom were a moron and your dad were a moron,
    what would you be then?"

    "Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."
    Iím a lucky man to count on both hands
    The ones I love..

    Visor Pro -> Visor Edge -> Treo 180 -> Treo 270 -> Treo 600 -> Treo 650 -> T|T2+SE T68i -> Treo 600 -> T-Mobile MDA -> Treo 755p -> Treo 800w -> Treo 755p -> PALM PRE -> Palm Pre 2 -> HP Palm Pre 3

    Twittering about
  20.    #40  
    A man recieves his proscription of viagra, anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
    Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
    "What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
    The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry the legs apart on a frozen chicken?"
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