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  1.    #9581  
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mods
    Do not forget the rules and regulations of this thread. Ignorance is not a valid excuse.
    - NO BACK-TO-BACK posting by the same person in the frenzy (81-99) leading up to each hundred mark. That would be considered cheating.

    - If you just so happen to post a back-to-back for the win (i.e. to say or ask if you won, or it's just part of the natural conversation), that would be okay and accepted.

    - If you happen to post a back-to-back during the frenzy, LEAVE IT.
    We will decide if it was malicious or not.

    - If posts are deleted during the frenzy to the hundred marks (or after) in order to make yourself win (or somebody else lose), we WILL notice it, you WON'T win and we'll hunt you down and severely beat you.

    - In your "acceptance speech", please state whether you want the Special PM to be from Verwon Buttercup or Blaize Babycakes.

    - REMINDER TO THE WINNERS: Please do NOT tell the thread what the Special PM is. The more mysterious for the non-winners, the better for all of us.
  2. #9582  
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  3. #9583  

    Sorry for the dbl post. Everyone must be having a party without me somewhere....

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  4.    #9584  
    "I'm going fishing."
    Really means...
    "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

    "Let's take your car."
    Really means...
    "Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

    "Woman driver."
    Really means...
    "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

    "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
    Really means...
    "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

    "It's a guy thing."
    Really means...
    "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "Can I help with dinner?"
    Really means...
    "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
    Really means...
    Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling

    "Good idea."
    Really means...
    "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

    "Have you lost weight?"
    Really means...
    "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

    "My wife doesn't understand me."
    Really means...
    "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

    "It would take too long to explain."
    Really means...
    "I have no idea how it works."

    "I'm getting more exercise lately."
    Really means...
    "The batteries in the remote are dead."

    "I got a lot done."
    Really means...
    "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

    "We're going to be late."
    Really means...
    "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

    "Hey, I've read all the classics."
    Really means...
    "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

    "You cook just like my mother used to."
    Really means...
    "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

    "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
    Really means...
    "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

    "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
    Really means...
    "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "That's interesting, dear."
    Really means...
    "Are you still talking?"

    "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
    Really means...
    "I forgot our anniversary again."

    "You expect too much of me."
    Really means...
    "You want me to stay awake."

    "It's a really good movie."
    Really means...
    "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

    "That's women's work."
    Really means...
    "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

    "Will you marry me?"
    Really means...
    "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

    "Go ask your mother."
    Really means...
    "I am incapable of making a decision."

    "You know how bad my memory is."
    Really means...
    "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
    Really means...
    "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

    "Football is a man's game."
    Really means...
    "Women are generally too smart to play it."

    "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
    Really means...
    "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

    "I do help around the house."
    Really means...
    "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

    "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
    Really means...
    "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I can't find it."
    Really means...
    "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "What did I do this time?"
    Really means...
    "What did you catch me at?"

    "What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
    Really means...
    "You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

    "She's one of those rabid feminists."
    Really means...
    "She refused to make my coffee."

    "But I hate to go shopping."
    Really means...
    "Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

    "No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
    Really means...
    "You may actually get it to start."

    "I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys."
    Really means...
    "I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, with pre-evolutionary companions."

    "I heard you."
    Really means...
    "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

    "You know I could never love anyone else."
    Really means...
    "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "You look terrific."
    Really means...
    "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

    "I brought you a present."
    Really means...
    "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

    "I missed you."
    Really means...
    "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet

    "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
    Really means...
    "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "We share the housework."
    Really means...
    "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

    "This relationship is getting too serious."
    Really means...
    "I like you more than my truck."

    "I recycle."
    Really means...
    "We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."

    "Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
    Really means...
    "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

    "It sure snowed last night."
    Really means...
    "I suppose you're going to nag me about shovelling the walk now."

    "It's good beer."
    Really means...
    "It was on sale."

    "I don't need to read the instructions."
    Really means...
    "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

    "I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
    Really means...
    "If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

    "I broke up with her."
    Really means...
    "She dumped me."

    "I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
    Really means...
    "Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."
  5. #9585  
    Nice seque from dbd's "useless facts" series to an image showing a demotivating emement of truth
    Quote Originally Posted by pogeypre View Post
    Are you hoping that this will cause some of us to run to the bathroom and cry?
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  6.    #9586  
    LoL, poges, i just HAD to pull up the full site on this damn phone to "thank" that poor cat picture, lol lol ltm.
  7. #9587  
    Quote Originally Posted by dbdoinit View Post
    LoL, poges, i just HAD to pull up the full site on this damn phone to "thank" that poor cat picture, lol lol ltm.
    Ah cat's....

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  8. #9588  
    gettin close
  9. #9589  
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  10. #9590  
    i dont like cats
  11. #9591  
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  12. #9592  
    if it had been a snake, it would have bitten him
  13. #9593  
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  14. #9594  
    cute bunny
  15. #9595  
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  16. #9596  
  17. #9597  
    what about Bob?
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  18. #9598  
    snipe snipe snipe...
  19. #9599  
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  20. #9600  

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