John Deere Abby - synicated columnist offering advice to the love lawn.

Trapper John Jay Silverheels - doctor, lawyer, Indian chief.

Elton John Smith - rock star who frequents motels.

Olivia Newton John Donne - pop singer: "Let's Get Metaphysical."

Lucky Luciano Pavarotti - he sings where he wants to, when he wants to.

Robert The Bruce Springsteen - the boss of Scotland, 1306-1329.

Jungle Gym Morrison - lead singer, The Swinging Doors.

Frank Nitti Gritti - mob accountant obsessed with detail.

Oscar Mayer Lansky - manufactuer with links to organized crime.

Mogen David Copperfield - magician who turns water into wine.

Hyatt Earp - security chief at Best Western Hotels.

Julius Caeser Salad - the noblest romaine of them all.

Julius Cesar Romero - emperor/actor. He came, he saw, he could not find the Batcave.

Christopher Robin Hood - legendary outlaw who robbed the rich to give to the Pooh.

Thomas Paine Webber - politician/stockbroker: "These are the financial times that try men's souls."

Bubba Smith Corona - defensive lineman in touch-type football.

Pink Floyd Wright - surrealist architect: designed "The Wall".

Pontius Pilate Error - biblical figure who landed in the burning bush.

Ray Charles Lindbergh - first to cross the Atlantic in his plane "The St. Louis Blues."