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  1.    #1  
    Hello all,

    It is my first post

    I want your thoughts on this:
    Do you feel that because your parents may have supported you when you were younger, that you "owe" it to them to support them now?

    (Pay the bills they run up etc, just because they did it for you when you were younger and unable to work)

    Last edited by Morutea; 11/01/2006 at 08:01 AM.
  2. #2  
    Our family has always been a close family. I have had to call my parents in unusual situations that caused financial concerns. And we have helped them out as well when hard times beyond their control hit them.

    My parents have my Mom's mom living with them so they can help care for her. My Dad's 92 yr old mom may be joining them in this next year. Both of them have been able to help financially and due to that, if my Dad's mom moves in they will be buying a bigger house with no stairs.

    Since my parents are only 20 yrs older than myself, it will be quite a while before we are faced with that decision.....but if given the choice and were able to help ourselves, we probably would.

    But each family is different. And each situation each time is different.
    Last edited by HobbesIsReal; 10/24/2006 at 07:18 PM.
  3. #3  
    IMO...Only if they need you. If my mom and dad needed me, I would be there for them, but that is different than your parents free loading off of you because they think you owe them. My friend has a mom that expects to be taking care of because she raised him, so she does not work and expects him to buy her cars, pay her bills, etc, and she is quite young and healthy still. He does have money and can afford it, but to each is own. We take care of our daughter...she is quite spoiled but I would never want her to take care of us unless it was a dire situation when we are old or even very sick if we didn't prepare for retirement responsibly, but we our trying to work our fanincial life so we will be taking care of during our post years so we don't have to lean on our children. Family being close is very important.
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  4. #4  
    I probably earn less than my Dad did (he was a co vice-pres, I work for a non-profit at below-market rates) - adjusting for inflation, and my wife works, where my mom worked as a housewife. He had a bigger house, more money for things than we seem to, etc. Both my parents are now gone. We got little of their money when they died, since my mom had over 100 grand ripped-off by a (thief) unscupulous "Financial Advisor".

    However, if there is a need and you can have the opportunity to help out, you should consider it. My wife went on Wheel of Fortune, and won over 60 grand. Rather than splurge for ourselves (other than my wife getting a new PC and me getting my Treo 650), the bulk of the money went to paying down a few bills and rennovating our home so her mom could move in. She was in one small room where she was before, now she has 3/4 of our ground level as a sort of apartment. It has been a joy and blessing to have her with us, and she is so much happier as well. She is definately not the stereotypical mom-in-law.

    A lot depends on what you can realistically do, and the relationships involved. Your current family situation must come first (leave parents, cleave to wife, etc.) and you can't let the parent ruin your commitment to your marriage partner. Maybe then it would be better that they not move in. Also, if you are paying their bills because they have real needs, that's different than subsidizing their fanatical QVC/Home Shopping Network addiction. (Besides, we have our own tech addictions to feed!)

    By the way, we have no kids to sponge off of. Therefore, we either have to rely on good financial planning (something I natually am very skeptical of), or else I better plan to work 'til I drop. Even with the best planning, the way costs for the elderly keep skyrocketing, I may have to do that anyway. Oh, well, retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be. My dad died 45 days after he retired- maybe he should have kept working, and had a purpose to keep going.

    ((( None of this is an invitation for so-called financial planners to spam me for my business, you won't be getting it. If someone I knew personaly could rip off my mom, I certainly won't give you the time of day. )))
    Last edited by duanedude1; 10/23/2006 at 06:39 AM.
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