01/05/2013, 02:54 PM
Originally Posted by AnitaOM
The Emperor's New Apps
with apologies to Hans Christian Anderson
Once upon a time there lived a vain Emperor whose only worry in life was to collect Apps and mobile devices. He changed phones almost every hour and loved to show them off to his people.
Word of the Emperor's refined habits spread over his kingdom and beyond. Two scoundrels who had heard of the Emperor's vanity decided to take advantage of it. They introduced themselves at the gates of the palace with a scheme in mind.
"We are two very good programmers and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method to place any App Store on any device and make it work invisibly. As a matter of fact it even appears invisible to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its quality."
The chief of the guards heard the scoundrel's strange story and sent for the court chamberlain. The chamberlain notified the prime minister, who ran to the Emperor and disclosed the incredible news. The Emperor's curiosity got the better of him and he decided to see the two scoundrels.
"Besides being invisible, your Highness, this Application Compatibility Layer will be available from manufacturers or can be directly downloaded to any device you choose." The emperor gave the two men a bag of gold coins in exchange for their promise to begin working on their ACL immediately.
"Just tell us what you need to get started and we'll give it to you." The two scoundrels asked for a staff budget, shiny new offices and booth reservations at every successive CES and then pretended to begin working. The Emperor thought he had spent his money quite well: in addition to getting new Apps, he would discover which of his subjects were ignorant and incompetent. A few days later, he called the old and wise prime minister, who was considered by everyone as a man with common sense.
"Go and see how the work is proceeding," the Emperor told him, "and come back to let me know."
The prime minister was welcomed by the two scoundrels.
"We're almost finished, but we need you to test this demo we have prepared for the next CES. Here, Excellency! Admire the Apps that wouldn't play on this device previously, play some of the games!" The old man bent over the MeeGo phone and tried to see the Apps that were not there. He felt cold sweat on his forehead.
"I can't see anything," he thought. "If I see nothing, that means I'm stupid! Or, worse, incompetent!" If the prime minister admitted that he didn't see anything, he would be discharged from his office.
"What a marvelous selection of Apps", he said then. "I'll certainly tell the Emperor." The two scoundrels rubbed their hands gleefully. They had almost made it. More staff was requested to finish the work.
Finally, the Emperor received the announcement that the two programmers had made enough progress to install ACL on his most favored device.
"Come in," the Emperor ordered. Even as they bowed, the two scoundrels pretended to be playing incompatible Apps on outdated platforms.
"Here it is your Highness, the result of our labour," the scoundrels said. "We have worked night and day but, at last, the most bountiful App Store in the world is ready for you. Look at all the Apps and test them to verify how seamlessly they work." Of course the Emperor did not see any Apps and could not load any for testing. He panicked and felt like fainting. But luckily the throne was right behind him and he sat down. But when he realized that no one could know that he did not see the Apps, he felt better. Nobody could find out he was stupid and incompetent. And the Emperor didn't know that everybody else around him thought and did the very same thing.
The farce continued as the two scoundrels had foreseen it. Once they had seen the Emperor pretending to use Apps on his Tizen developer phone, the two began creating tethered mockups of ACL running on an infotainment system for automobiles.
"Your Highness, you'll have to let us load ACL on all your devices." The two scoundrels ooohed and aaahed over all the Emperor's devices as they pretended to download and open Apps. The Emperor was embarrassed but since none of his bystanders were, he felt relieved.
"Yes, this is a wonderful bounty of Apps and they all work flawlessly," the Emperor said trying to look comfortable. "You've done a fine job."
"Your Majesty," the prime minister said, "we have a request for you. The people have found out about this extraordinary ACL and they are anxious to download it for themselves." The Emperor was doubtful showing his lack of Google Play access to the people, but then he abandoned his fears. After all, no one would doubt it except the ignorant and the incompetent.
"All right," he said. "I will grant the people this privilege." He opened a website and proclaimed ACL ready for OEMs and direct consumer download. A group of dignitaries "downloaded" the very first copies of ACL and anxiously scrutinized the faces of the people in the street. All the people had gathered in the main square, pushing and shoving to get a better look. An applause welcomed the regal procession. Everyone wanted to know how stupid or incompetent his or her neighbor was but, as the Emperor passed, a strange murmur rose from the crowd.
Everyone said, loud enough for the others to hear: "Look at the Emperor's new Apps. They're so plentiful."
"What a marvellous ACL!"
"And the variety! The effortless interfacing! I have never seen anything like it in my life!" They all tried to conceal their disappointment at not being able to download from Google Play, and since nobody was willing to admit his own stupidity and incompetence, they all behaved as the two scoundrels had predicted.
A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the procession.
"The Emperor has no Fruit Ninja," he said.
"Fool!" his father reprimanded, running after him. "Don't talk nonsense!" He grabbed his child and took him away. But the boy's remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried:
"The boy is right! The Emperor has no Fruit Ninja! It's true!"
The Emperor realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He though it better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn't see his App access was either stupid or incompetent. And he stood stiffly on his carriage, while behind him a page held his still limited devices.
Best of luck, Anita, to you and all @openmobileww during CES 2013.