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  1. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #1  
    I think Palm and Sprint both are dropping the ball on their commercials for the Pre. Considering that they don't have a clear advertising path (You've got the weird Zen of one spot contrasted with the busy funkiness of the Facebook one, compared to the Sprint information overload spots), I'm thinking they could use some help. Anyone want to make a commercial? Seriously- a regular guy made an Apple one for the iPod Touch, and they paid him handsomely for it.

    Here's my thinking: it's a little difficult to show people how much better it is than the competition. How can you effectively show multi-tasking without confusing people? What about notifications? How do you highlight the deficiencies of other devices while highlighting the Pre's strengths? How do you highlight the keyboard? The app store is abysmal right now, so it's not a feature. And how do you take on the behemoth that is Apple? Or the juggernaut that is RIM? I think this script does these things in a good way- it's kind of like the "I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC" spots, without the smarmy characters, or the superiority complex. If shot right, I would think it could have mass appeal.

    This is the second in a series of three so far that I'm thinking of. The first one sets up the two protagonists (and introduces the Palm Pre), and they're walking down the same tree lined street as they are in this one.Two things to keep in mind: the music would be important (I haven't picked it yet), and I've never written a script before. Please keep the latter in mind while tearing apart the formatting mistakes, etc. One more thing- this assumes a Facebook app is in the works, and doesn't really have the same "oomph" with substituting a mobile Facebook app in it's stead.

    Also, I would include my first script here, but I dropped of my laptop at the Apple store yesterday, and I only had this one printed out. The third one is yet to be thought up.

    PALM PRE COMMERCIAL #2: MULTI-TASKING

    AL and PO are regular late-college aged guys. Their clothes aren't super trendy, but they can fit in anywhere. PO wears a small backpack and a hoodie, AL has a lettermen-styled jacket.

    EXT. SHOT:
    AL and PO are walking down a long sidewalk with no cars on the street. The sidewalk has trees lining it on one side, and the houses are set back from the trees. The other side of the street mimics the side on which they're walking. This could be any street, any town, USA.

    ANGLE: Wide. We see AL and PO walking down the street, with the camera at their backs. AL on the left wearing the iconic white earbuds, PO on the right wearing the Palm black earbuds with the chrome. It's silent except for the rustle of the trees.
    ------------------------------------------
    AL: Check out my new station on Pandora. (THE MUSIC STARTS PLAYING, BREAKING THE TREE SOUNDS. AL HANDS THE EARBUS IN HIS LEFT EAR TO PO, WHO TAKES OFF HIS BLACK ONES AND LETS THEM DRAPE AROUND HIS NECK. HE THEN PUTS THE WHITE ONE IN HIS LEFT EAR)

    AL THEN "THUMBS UP THE PLAYING SONG"

    AL: Remember Vicki, that girl I told you about? She's on my Facebook. Check her out. (AL THEN SWITCHES TO THE FACEBOOK APP, AND THE MUSIC STOPS. FROM BEHIND, WE SEE AL HOLDING THE IPHONE IN HIS RIGHT HAND. WE CAN SEE HIM PRESS THE APP BUTTON RIGHT BEFORE THE MUSIC STOPS. ALL WE HEAR IS THE RUSTLING OF THE TREES AGAIN.)

    VOICEOVER BY PO: What happened to the music?

    AL: One thing at a time- I'll open the app again after I show you this... By the way- did I tell you about the girl I met on Twitter? I'll show you Vicki later- you GOTTA check this chick out. (AL THEN CLOSES FACEBOOK, AND OPENS TWITTER INSTEAD OF FACEBOOK. THE CAMERA IS CLOSE ENOUGH THAT WE SEE AL MANIPULATING THE IPHONE, VIEW STILL BEHIND THEM.)

    PO GIVES THE HEADPHONES BACK, AND PUTS ONE IN HIS LEFT EAR AND HANDS THE OTHER ONE TO AL. THE SYMBOLISM IS NOT LOST.

    PO: Check out MY new station on Pandora. (PO turns on the phone, unlocks it, and presses "play" for Pandora)

    THE MUSIC STARTS AGAIN

    PO: I didn't tell you about the twins, did I? Dude, they SHARE a Facebook page. Hot, huh? (PO USES AN ADVANCED GESTURE TO SWIPE TO THE FACEBOOK APPLICATION. THE CAMERA CAPTURES THE MOVEMENT FROM BEHIND, AND WE SEE THE PHONE SWITCH APPLICATIONS)

    AL: Yeah they are. Good song, too.

    PO: Yeah it is. (PO THEN "THUMBS-UP" THE SONG USING THE NOTIFICATION AREA)

    CLOSE UP SHOT OF PO DOING THIS, THEN BACK TO THE WIDE SHOT

    PO: Look, I've got these Russian gymnasts following me on Twitter- they're like pretzels! And they're just learning English- it's so hot.
    (WHILE HE'S TALKING, THE CAMERA ZOOMS SLOWLY TO CLOSE IN ON THE PALM PRE. THE VOICEOVER NOW MATCHES WHAT PO'S DOING, EXACTLY. THIS TIME, HE SWITCHES APPS THE NORMAL WAY, USING THE SMALL CARDS.

    A NEW EMAIL NOTIFICATION COMES UP WHILE BROWSING THE TWEETS. IT'S VICKI, THE SAME GIRL THAT AL LIKES. THE NOTIFICATION DOESN'T INTERRUPT THE TWITTER VIEWING, AND THE SUBJECT IS SOMETHING FLIRTATIOUS BY HER TO HIM. PO DISMISSES THE EMAIL, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE SEE THE CAMERA CAPTURE AL'S QUIZZICAL EXPRESSION AT SEEING VICKI'S NAME.

    PO: Ummm... different Vicki, bro. (IT'S CLEAR FROM THE REACTION THAT IT'S NOT A DIFFERENT VICKI)

    THEY CONTINUE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET LISTENING TO THE SHARED EARBUDS. AL PUTS HIS IPHONE AWAY COMPLETELY OUT OF VIEW. WE SEE THE CAMERA ZOOM OUT TO A WIDE VIEW AS PO AND AL CONTINUE TO WALK UP THE STREET. THE VIEW BECOMES ALMOST FISH-EYE LIKE AT THE BOTTOM, AND IN FACT CURVES THE STREET A LITTLE LIKE THEY'RE WALKING ON A GLOBE.

    VOICEOVER BY PO: Cool station, huh?

    FADE TO BLACK.
  2. Xyg
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    #2  
    How much will I be paid to show my pretty face on camera?

    I expect no less than $5,000. I'll put you in contact with my agent.
  3. #3  
    You're going to need a creative director and a copy writer because your vision is lacking.
  4. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #4  
    Quote Originally Posted by MyPreKindaSucks View Post
    You're going to need a creative director and a copy writer because your vision is lacking.
    Mom, is that you?
  5. Stihl's Avatar
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    #5  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    Mom, is that you?
    lol
  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    Mom, is that you?
    Rofl!
  7. #7  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    Mom, is that you?
    That ad wouldn't appeal to my age demographic but your sense of humor does.....good one!
  8. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by ryleyinstl View Post
    That ad wouldn't appeal to my age demographic but your sense of humor does.....good one!
    Thanks. Just out of curiosity, what age demographic are you in?
  9. #9  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    Thanks. Just out of curiosity, what age demographic are you in?
    30yrs, married, IT Consultant.

    Way way past all that "look at this cute chick she is so hot" stuff. Turn on that since of humor of yours and dump that into the process.
  10. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by ryleyinstl View Post
    30yrs, married, IT Consultant.

    Way way past all that "look at this cute chick she is so hot" stuff. Turn on that since of humor of yours and dump that into the process.
    Ah. I'm 32, living with my girlfriend. Appealed to me (I'm biased), but I understand.

    Couldn't think of another vehicle for a couple of guys to be looking at pictures of something on each others' phones, without it becoming awkward. I've got a friend who loves showing off pictures of his daughter- I don't mind, but the iPhone is seen as young and hip, so appealing to the sector that is a little older and a little less hip seemed counterproductive.

    I appreciate the compliment though, very much. But, ummm, "way past"? Come on... You mean to tell me you've never picked up your wife's US Weekly and flipped through it to check out the Hollywood hotties?

    The defense rests, your honor.
  11. #11  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    But, ummm, "way past"? Come on... You mean to tell me you've never picked up your wife's US Weekly and flipped through it to check out the Hollywood hotties?
    Well.....okay, yes. But I have to admit all that ogling pretty much ended when I met my wife. I can't deny that she is a hot one, how I managed that I will never understand.

    Palm devices have generally been a business tool first but the Pre/WebOS defiantly had broader appeal. It will be interesting to see how they try and market things over the next year.
  12. #12  
    Two guys the iPhone is played by dwight shrute from the office and the pre a basketballer. The basketballer is showing some moves as he uses his pre. He then throws the ball at shrute who is using his iPhone the ball hits him and he falls over. Shrute dusts himself off and then starts to bounce the ball awkwardly with one hand then stopping holding the ball as he uses his iphone. The caption the iPhone cannot multitask.
  13. #13  
    Quote Originally Posted by ryleyinstl View Post
    30yrs, married, IT Consultant.

    Way way past all that "look at this cute chick she is so hot" stuff. Turn on that since of humor of yours and dump that into the process.

    30 and you're "past all that"...it's in our DNA to say this sort of stuff...FOREVER!!
    ______________________________
    Palm loyalist: Samsung SGH-i500>Treo 600>650>755P>Pre- #1>>Pre- #2>Pre- #3>Pre- #4>Pre- #5>Pre- #6
  14. #14  
    You sell the benefits not the technology or functionality.
  15. pathymo's Avatar
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    #15  
    yeah, I wouldn't really dig that commercial..... it is too much about 'hot chicks', and not enough about the phones. The content of the commercial itself would probably deter me from wanting the device.
  16. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #16  
    Quote Originally Posted by ryleyinstl View Post
    Palm devices have generally been a business tool first but the Pre/WebOS defiantly had broader appeal. It will be interesting to see how they try and market things over the next year.
    That's where I think they're failing. The Pre isn't a business device first, and that should be pretty clear the leaked internal documents from Sprint making sure the phone was sold the right kind of customer. Business people were to get recommended the Centro, if I'm not mistaken.

    Quote Originally Posted by no1smartphone View Post
    You sell the benefits not the technology or functionality.
    Let's not forget the first iPhone commercial: "This is how you turn it on. This is how you check the weather. And this is how you browse the internet... on your iPhone".

    Apple redefined touchscreen devices, and the Pre improves on their design and software, in my opinion. I think that Palm has to show that, in order to stay relevant, and at the very least, in business.

    Quote Originally Posted by pathymo View Post
    yeah, I wouldn't really dig that commercial..... it is too much about 'hot chicks', and not enough about the phones. The content of the commercial itself would probably deter me from wanting the device.
    Hmmm... The point of it is to show what the Pre can do so much better than the iPhone, but the "hot chicks" thing has been said before, so I guess I understand.

    Maybe the "hot chicks" part comes across too vivid when reading, but the goal is to have a guy kind of "showing off" his iPhone, talking about normal guy stuff. Then the other guy shows off his Palm Pre, one-upping him at every turn (like how the Pre one-ups the iPhone), which is why when the iPhone guy has one hot chick on Twitter, the Palm guy has a team. And it explains why the hot girl from Facebook is already emailing the Palm guy.

    It has different subtle layers, and should the commercial actually get cast, the Palm guy would be just a little better looking than the iPhone guy. The unconscious thoughts from people watching the commercial? The Pre is better than the iPhone.
  17. pathymo's Avatar
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    #17  
    Quote Originally Posted by buyrihn View Post
    That's where I think they're failing. The Pre isn't a business device first, and that should be pretty clear the leaked internal documents from Sprint making sure the phone was sold the right kind of customer. Business people were to get recommended the Centro, if I'm not mistaken.


    Let's not forget the first iPhone commercial: "This is how you turn it on. This is how you check the weather. And this is how you browse the internet... on your iPhone".

    Apple redefined touchscreen devices, and the Pre improves on their design and software, in my opinion. I think that Palm has to show that, in order to stay relevant, and at the very least, in business.


    Hmmm... The point of it is to show what the Pre can do so much better than the iPhone, but the "hot chicks" thing has been said before, so I guess I understand.

    Maybe the "hot chicks" part comes across too vivid when reading, but the goal is to have a guy kind of "showing off" his iPhone, talking about normal guy stuff. Then the other guy shows off his Palm Pre, one-upping him at every turn (like how the Pre one-ups the iPhone), which is why when the iPhone guy has one hot chick on Twitter, the Palm guy has a team. And it explains why the hot girl from Facebook is already emailing the Palm guy.

    It has different subtle layers, and should the commercial actually get cast, the Palm guy would be just a little better looking than the iPhone guy. The unconscious thoughts from people watching the commercial? The Pre is better than the iPhone.
    But the idea that all "normal guys" talk about are girls, and then to go on and describe these girls ("russian gymnasts learning english--thats so hot", etc) is not appealing to many other people who would like the pre, myself included. This is a phone, not a hot rod. You can show case the features without dumbing down to that level. While I understand that the girls is not intended to be the focus of the ad, it ultimately would be, and it would deter a lot of people from wanting the phone. Before the commercial is halfway done, the channel will have been changed, or some woman will be saying "ugh, what crap", or a gay guy will be saying "God, why do they have to market this phone like this?".
  18. #18  
    Quote Originally Posted by ryleyinstl View Post
    Way way past all that "look at this cute chick she is so hot" stuff.
    Whaaaaaaaaat? If you're a man and have a pulse, you're never past it!
    .
    .
    .

    What we do in life echoes in eternity.....

    "Four things come not back:
    the spoken word,
    the sped arrow,
    the past life,
    the neglected opportunity."
  19. buyrihn's Avatar
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       #19  
    Quote Originally Posted by pathymo View Post
    But the idea that all "normal guys" talk about are girls, and then to go on and describe these girls ("russian gymnasts learning english--thats so hot", etc) is not appealing to many other people who would like the pre, myself included. This is a phone, not a hot rod. You can show case the features without dumbing down to that level. While I understand that the girls is not intended to be the focus of the ad, it ultimately would be, and it would deter a lot of people from wanting the phone. Before the commercial is halfway done, the channel will have been changed, or some woman will be saying "ugh, what crap", or a gay guy will be saying "God, why do they have to market this phone like this?".
    Gotcha. I've always had a thing for Russian gymnasts, hence the inclusion. And plus, I thought the Swedish swim team was overdone.

    I tend to wonder though, judging from the responses, if we (the members of this forum) are it's target market? Granted, some things in that script could certainly be changed, but the concept itself is really where I think Palm needs to focus on to compete with the market leader.

    Maybe it's that I've never had a Palm device, and instead see Palm differently than others who I have. I see the Pre as a worthy iPhone competitor rather than a business device, but I think a series of commercials done in that vein would do well for their bottom line.
  20. #20  
    I have an idea for you: Why don't you name one of the college kids "McLovin"? :-)

    The centro was never a business device, basically it's an improved treo 700/755p in a slightly smaller package, but priced low enough to attract new people into the spartphone market. It's a damn good entry level smartphone.

    I think the reason they aren't marketing too hard is because they don't want to generate more demand until they work the bugs out of the phone and are able to then scale up production.
    Keep your ideas rolling! :-)
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
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