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  1.    #1  
    Sept. 12 - Palm Headquarters

    In response to the strong negative reaction to the feminine-sounding name of Palm's recent smartphone, the Pixi, a new Palm smartphone has just been announced.

    Palm CEO Jon Rubinstein, in a statement released this morning, acknowledged the relative lack of masculinity with the word "Pixi".

    "Our focus groups indicated that many men would not buy a girly-sounding phone such as the Pixi, so as a result, we are pleased to announce the new Palm Tough Guy smartphone. Its specs are identical to that of the Pixi, but it will instead be released with a number of more-masculine features.

    "These include new skin styles, such as military-camouflage, Budweiser, and NASCAR. In addition, the Palm Tough Guy smartphone will feature the NFL Theme Song and belching sounds as its default ringtones. New email notification will be handled by the sound of a revving Ford F-150 pickup truck and various construction equipment, such as jackhammers and bulldozers.

    "Finally, instead of having a regular plastic exterior shell, the Palm Tough Guy smartphone will have, at the customer's choice, a casing made out of shark-skin or industrial-strength sandpaper.

    "We hope these new innovative features, most of which have never before been included with a mobile device, will draw legions of men back to our product. As a final bonus benefit, each purchase of a Palm Tough Guy smartphone will receive a complimentary hard hat."

    The Palm Tough Guy smartphone will be released by the holidays and will cost $99 with a new two-year contract.
  2. #2  
    It needs to also have a "Pre-Fart" app before us men would buy this!

    Going further with your idea of a sandpaper finish, I'd prefer that the mirror be replaced with a permanent "metal file" finish. Believe the call this a "B a s t a r d" (really). In fact, the phone could be named "the B a s t a r d!"

    EDIT: Needed to add spaces to fool the dirty word filter. (I'm not using the word in the same "dirty word" context, so my usage should not have been filtered.)
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  3. #3  
    It needs a mirror also.
    It's not the life you lead but
    the style in which you live it.
  4. #4  
    Quote Originally Posted by bclancy View Post
    Believe the call this a "B a s t a r d" (really). In fact, the phone could be named "the B a s t a r d!"
    this sounds like your kinda beer!

    Are You Worthy?
    .
    .

  5. #5  
    Funny... But I do hope they release a Palm Business Man formfactor. Really wouldn't be hard. WebOs + the most innovative (easiest to type on) keyboard known to man. We (I own Palm stock so I guess I can say we?) copied + improved upon the feel of an iphone like software, why not copy + improve upon a blackberry like keyboard. Also, make the gesture area around the center button a virtual D-Pad.
  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by superduperpre View Post
    this sounds like your kinda beer!

    Are You Worthy?
    I'm definitely worthy! Does that mean you might send me some beer? !!! I remember the first time I tried a Guiness I thought it tasted like motor oil. My tastes have changed, and now I sort of wish for a beer with a bit more body and character every time I have one. (Beer is one of my favorite foods. I drink it for taste and (usually) in moderation.)
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  7. #7  
    Quote Originally Posted by BrewCity View Post
    It needs a mirror also.
    Come to think of it, a telescoping antenna that has a mirror that attaches to the end would be a really great feature on such a phone. EDIT (I guess maybe I was not clear. The mirror would be for inspecting mechanical items in hard to see places. An LED that shines down to the mirror would be great too.)
    Last edited by sudoer; 09/12/2009 at 06:20 PM.
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  8. #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by PreJamison View Post
    ... gesture area around the center button a virtual D-Pad.
    Those are really good suggestions. Hopefully Palm is listening. Yes, a real, kick a s s keyboard would be great for those of us with bigger hands. I miss the real D-pad. Makes me wonder if the pixi has a gesture area - I guess it must. I woudn't mind a real keyboard on a candybar phone with wifi and a virtual D-pad in the middle of the gesture area above the keyboard.
    I'm both super! ... and a doer!
  9. stockh's Avatar
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    #9  
    Quote Originally Posted by bclancy View Post
    Those are really good suggestions. Hopefully Palm is listening. Yes, a real, kick a s s keyboard would be great for those of us with bigger hands. I miss the real D-pad. Makes me wonder if the pixi has a gesture area - I guess it must. I woudn't mind a real keyboard on a candybar phone with wifi and a virtual D-pad in the middle of the gesture area above the keyboard.
    I 2nd the d-pad above the keyboard although I think a physical d-pad vs a virtual may feel better. I'm all for optimizing the one hand experience on the smartphone.

    On a side note, I hope Palm is doing their research. WinMo and Apple are well on their way to integrating speech to text within their smartphones, in my opinion a "game changer" that will lead the next generation smartphones.
  10. #10  
    How about shinny diamond plate for a mirror? Or/and a black diamond plate back. Could even have the same on front in black that would be a flip open cover. Now that would be rugged and I would buy that!!!

    The Palm Contractor Edition.
  11. #11  
    Sign me up for the Diamond-Plate version. That might make it a bit heavy for girly-men, but would be no problem for real men like us (and other Norris/Bauer types).

    The mirror is only so you can admire your own flexed massive muscles, NOT for manscaping!

    Google Maps with all the sportsbars marked- they'll have an app for that!

    But it needs 2TB of storage, a manly amount, and 4G speeds... we want it big and fast!

    Will there be a Harley-Davidson version?

    Wait a minute... that could backfire...
    Please don't have these masculine editions:
    - a Construction Worker
    - a Biker
    - a Cowboy
    - a Cop
    - an Indian

    NO! Not a Village People Series! HAVE MERCY!
    Last edited by duanedude1; 09/12/2009 at 11:12 PM.
    "Everybody Palm!"

    Palm III/IIIC, Palm Vx, Verizon: Treo 650, Centro, Pre+.
    Leo killed my future Pre 3 & Opal, dagnabitt!
    Should I buy a Handspring Visor instead?
    Got a Pre2! "It eats iPhones for Breakfast"!
  12. glenada's Avatar
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    #12  
    Sounds like it would appeal to the deluded right-wing wacko fringe groups in this country.
  13. #13  
    Quote Originally Posted by glenada View Post
    Sounds like it would appeal to the deluded right-wing wacko fringe groups in this country.
    Where did that come from? The every day man can't have a phone that is manly?
  14. #14  
    Hey! No need to go political, but since you opened that door...


    The so-called "deluded right-wing wacko fringe groups" deserve their own phone as much as the "deluded left-wing wacko fringe groups".

    Would the latter get the Acorn Edition?

    Cancel my order for the diamond-plate, I'm leaning towards the Harley version.
    Last edited by duanedude1; 09/13/2009 at 09:32 AM.
    "Everybody Palm!"

    Palm III/IIIC, Palm Vx, Verizon: Treo 650, Centro, Pre+.
    Leo killed my future Pre 3 & Opal, dagnabitt!
    Should I buy a Handspring Visor instead?
    Got a Pre2! "It eats iPhones for Breakfast"!
  15. #15  
    Now I feel bad. I called Palm just for you and they are going to make only one of the following.
    All clad in black diamond plate and when you flip open the top cover you will expose a face like the Pixi but now covered in Black button leather with "Harley Davidson" across the gesture area.
    Hang on be right back...........
    Ok I ordered two. Was getting all excited of this...had to call them back.
  16. #16  
    Presenting the new Palm Pretorian. The original Pre was a metaphor for a pebble, so went further and the new Pretorian is hewn from solid rock. Some reviewers have noted that the open edges of the Pre is "sharp," so we took it to the extreme and added a high carbon steel blade along the edges that can cut through copper pipe and bread with equal ease. As a bonus, if the screen twists, it will double as a ninja throwing star.
  17. #17  
    love it
  18. lamboh's Avatar
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    #18  
    man beer, man law.........now man phone...yes
  19. #19  
    Thanks, Finally...

    The best of both: Black Diamondplate and Harley Leather!!
    That's Great!

    Dry: Ninjas are cool, but just not for me.
    "Everybody Palm!"

    Palm III/IIIC, Palm Vx, Verizon: Treo 650, Centro, Pre+.
    Leo killed my future Pre 3 & Opal, dagnabitt!
    Should I buy a Handspring Visor instead?
    Got a Pre2! "It eats iPhones for Breakfast"!
  20. prejune's Avatar
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    #20  
    i heard a rumor that palm is in partnership with swiss to make a swiss army knife back cover for the tough guy. the features include:

    -bottle opener
    -filet knife
    -bolt cutter
    -jumper cables
    -lipstick remover (for "you know")
    and updates for automatic flowers and candy (when the lipstick remover doesnt work)

    more to come!
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