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  1. #21  
    There is NO Application out there that will control all you want to control except the Application of Prayer. And it's FREE.
    Florida Tony
    GSM: Treo 270 > Treo 600 > Treo 650 > Treo 680 > Centro > iPhone 3G S
  2.    #22  
    Quote Originally Posted by KabukiAssassin View Post
    Wow Dave.... that sucks. You are a MUCH more permissive parent than I am. I'm like the one-strike-you're-out mom. 2 things I would've already done in your sitch-
    I'm a pretty nice guy but TRUST ME we have been through the ringer(no pun intended) with my daughter. She has caused me years of grief and I keep waiting to see the rainbow. I got her the Centro because she does need some form of planner to keep track of things and preferably with an alarm to remind her. She is extremely forgetful and once you understand that she sometimes acts without thinking it kind of puts you on her level "a little". It's taken me a long time to understand that she has some serious issues and I'm told by counselors that with any luck she will grow out of them. I do have some luck because she does not do drugs and she does not hang around a crowd that is too terribly bad. She just makes rash decisions very quickly without thinking sometimes. Once you know her you begin to wonder if there is a 2nd personality in there somewhere because she does not act like this all the time. I'd say 85% good and 15% bad. It's that 15% that really makes you wonder sometimes.

    She has a job now working at her cheer gym. I told her I'm keeping every check until we get enough money to remove the tattoo. If she's lucky I'll be able to sue this supposed 18 year old kid for taking advantage of a minor and then she won't have to pay. She understands this and has been cooperative.

    As far as day-to-day I tend to take away and give back over time as she earns it. She usually has a phone extremely restricted and then I let up and allow her to talk to a few friends and then I usually give text messaging and then I open it 100% again. Generally about 2 days later we're back to square one with everything being restricted. We've been through this cycle MANY times and each time she says she'll try to make an active effort to fix these issues. It's really mind boggling and I know having the phone restricted bothers her. I do believe she uses her friends phone at school so she can always get around things that way.

    Her last phone was very similar to the Firefly in the sense that it had built in security features. Now that I have the Centro locked down it's very similar. If I detect any activity to remove or circumvent the applications I will be taking the phone from her all together. She can use the planner on the computer and then sync it back to the Centro when I decide to give it back to her(restricted of course). BTW, I don't think she can beat the Centro "phone lock" but she can probably get around the Call Block if she really tries. I should be able to detect this though and then take the phone away. The phone lock alone is really good at blocking most activity that I'm concerned about.

    I've learned there is no answer for a child that does what she does. If anything in this instance she was just destructive to herself because she appears to be embarrassed to have the tattoo. There are other things we do as punishment like her not being able to hang with her friends and sleeping on our bedroom floor(in really bad instances). I would imagine several weeks will go by before we let her go to her friends again. Of course the whole tattoo occurred when we allowed her to stay the night at a friends house so we can use that as reason to not allow her to go anywhere.

    Ultimately I have faith things will get better. I really only have 2.5 more years before she's 18 and I don't want to make things all bad during her adolescence. We have already told her she is too irresponsible and will not be taking drivers ed and will not have a vehicle. Her 17 year old brother has had none of these restrictions and we got him a vehicle and pay his insurance. If anything he serves as an example of how well we can actually treat a good kid. I do hope one day she will wake up and smell the roses.

    Hmmm, this was somewhat therapeutic... lol
  3.    #23  
    Quote Originally Posted by floridatony View Post
    There is NO Application out there that will control all you want to control except the Application of Prayer. And it's FREE.
    I am not a religious person but I do resort to my own form of prayer sometimes.

    I will probably be writing the Call Block people and offer some suggestions to their product. I think they are the closest to a 100% solution of what I'm looking for. A few minor tweaks and I think they will put themselves in a nice market for parental control of Palm phones.
  4. #24  
    Wang, the CallBlock developer is a good guy. Ben
  5. #25  
    Its obvious you love your daughter but you don't need to be her friend right now. I told my 16 year old if he didn't respect me ( and more importantly, his mother) then he would learn to fear me (his choice). He knows just enough about me to be unsure exactly what I might do to make his life miserable if he crosses me so...

    For now here is what you do. Take away the Centro and use the Sprint ESN swapper to re-activate her old phone.

    And when she is good for a while, swap it back. she should still be able to use the Centro as a PDA right now if you want to let her use it for that.

    There are several call log programs that will track what calls she makes and if you hide it she won't know. Then I would reconcile the normal call log with the stealth one and if they are different, take away the Centro again (really, if you know she is deleting stuff she has already violated the terms of having the phone so take it away).

    As far as sneaking out of the house, get a burglar alarm where the security pad is in your bedroom and don't tell her about it (or do and let her know she needs to be in the house by a certain time or she won't be able to get in without your know). Attach very bright outdoor floodlights to the alarm so you can see the license plate of any boy picking her up in the car

    Make her keep the Tat if it is that badly done so she will have a constant reminder of the consequences of bad judgment.
  6. #26  
    You know what Dave? You might wanna get her tested for ADD. Rash decisions, sneakiness, with no huge things like drug use- her behavior sounds a LOT like mine before I got diagnosed. On & off my Adderall is like night & day. Srsly.

    And I agree- make her keep the tat as a reminder to THINK before she does stupid crap.
    I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident!
  7. #27  
    Too much control can be worse than too little control and it sounds like "Dave Julien" is going way towards the too-much. From personal experience, being the parent of teenage girls is akin to purgatory, but it can only be made worse if you overreact to the crap you have to put up with.
    My advice is to focus on safety issues and school work, and let some of the other stuff pass, such as who is on the phone.
  8. #28  
    I second the comments by Tribble.
    Parents need to choose their battles.
    Florida Tony
    GSM: Treo 270 > Treo 600 > Treo 650 > Treo 680 > Centro > iPhone 3G S
  9. #29  
    all i can say is wow...some parenting lessons are needed! Having good kids takes work and effort. it takes talking too and mutual respect. All you are doing is a waste of time. Instead of typing here take her to dinner and talk to her about values, life choices, your hopes and desires. Tatoos...next a baby!

    Kids are not the problem...PARENTS ARE...flame away
    _____________
    Visor -> Treo 650 Cingular UNLocked (Cing. Blue Phone on Orange Network) -> vzw 700p -> VZW Centro (much better)
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    #30  
    Oooohhkaaay... This is getting ugly, and is no longer Treo/Palm related... perhaps this topic should just die down.
    Vx --> M515 --> T|T3 --> T|T5
    --> Treo 650 --> Centro --> Dinc

    Smart Jones - a smartphone webcomic
  11. #31  
    To DaveJulien;

    I saw this link today http://www.kajeet.com/4u/index.html . This might be something to look into; While it doesnt look like they support the centro, they do use the sprint network and do have some phones that have calendar/todo capabilities. Also looks like you the parent can control when the phone can be called/texted as well as who can call/text to it.

    I didnt look through the whole site but it looks like a great tool for parents. I thought I would post this in case there is another parent looking for something.
    Vinnie
  12.    #32  
    Thanks John_v for the tip. My only issue with the service is they require special phones. Other than that it looks like a great service.

    For all others with good intent... thank you for the comments. It has definitely been a difficult road with our daughter. We do have help with therapists(and some medication) so we have all the advice we can handle. There really is no clear answer to this and it's not surprising to hear that some feel this is a parenting issue. It is fine that some feel this way because we are all entitled to our opinion. My only combat to this is that we do have an older son who is 18 with a 3.5 gpa and looks forward to a football scholarship and college. We have not raised our daughter any differently yet she is the polar opposite. She is starting to gain some better judgment because she starting to feel bad after each "situation". This, IMO, is a miracle breakthrough that I hope will only continue to improve in the future. I think I will continue to reward during the good times and take away during the bad since this seems to be working. At the moment the therapists agree.
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