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  1. #21  
    Quote Originally Posted by millsda2
    .....
    Now I will say this. Either a way a parent decides to go, I believe ultimately, the end result of child's character is greatly determined by the parents and how they intervene with their child's activities. I've seen parents who treat private school like a day care. It's a way for them to pawn off the responsibility of their children to someone else and then give the excuse, "Well I'm paying you big money here...why is my child being so disobedient at home and why isn't he learning?" Well, it comes down to you, the parent being involved with every aspect of your child's life. If you're not, then they will have social disfunctional behaviors in the future and will never truly respect you as the authoratative figure in their life. It all goes back to accountability. The same can go for public schools though too. Many parents will blame the school system for their child's unruly behavior and misdemeanors. Take some responsibility and spend time with your kids teaching them the facts of life, and you'll be amazed at well they can turn out.
    Actually this may not be true ....parents may not have such a large influence on children as most people like to believe. The peer groups have the largest influence (see Judith Harris' "The Nurture Assumption"). Kids tend to be influenced most by other kids behavior. So whether you want to go public or private - perhaps it may be worthwhile to check out the other kids - see what they're like or how they've turned out.
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  2. vw2002's Avatar
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       #22  
    "My concern with public schools is that they are often tackling too many social issues and missing the basics -- reading, writing, arithmetic, retrospect (i.e. history, but I wanted to keep the alliteration ) and reasoning. "



    these are our main concerns as well.
    we want our children to have strong foundations in mathematics and verbal reasoning, and from what I gather here, possibly the best way to find the best school is to take a look at how the kids going through these schools are turning out.
    Looking at what percentage of these students go on to college and what level of education they achieve. what the average SAT scores are or other achievement test results, etc ( if its possible to gain access to this info)
    I think we're going to try to take tours of these schools and maybe sit in on certain classes to see how they are structured - of course the teachers will spring into their best behavior during those kinds of visits, but I'd at least like to get a feel for how they challenge the kids.
    I agree with what was said earlier that its crucial to play a responsible role in your child's education. it is important to try to consistently steer your kids in the right direction along the way during the early years, and as they get older the judgement you've tried to instill in them will hopefully play a big role in shaping the decisions they make when they grow more independent.
    there are definitely pros and cons to both, and I think its just going to come down to which, public or private, has the strongest curriculum and most successful graduation statistics.

    it will be interesting to see what we can find out about the two.
    I gotta have more cowbell
  3. #23  
    Check out the schools' websites. They should give you the information you're looking for.

    For our elementary school aged children, we looked for schools with high Standardized and CRCT test scores. And then, looked at the junior high and high school stats.

    Peer pressure is a huge influence on kids. I've found that building a strong foundation of trust with my kids is what has helped, so far. Granted, the oldest is only 12... who knows what lies ahead. But, my kids tell me things, even when they know they're going to be punished.
  4. vw2002's Avatar
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       #24  
    "Peer pressure is a huge influence on kids."
    yeah, especially today. looking at the things kids can get themselves into anymore just makes your head spin! " I've found that building a strong foundation of trust with my kids is what has helped... "
    couldn't agree more. kids have to respect you but feel like they can hang out with you at the same time. if you can get to that point, you've really done something!
    Last edited by vw2002; 08/02/2005 at 10:36 PM.
  5. #25  
    Quote Originally Posted by Christinac130
    Peer pressure is a huge influence on kids. I've found that building a strong foundation of trust with my kids is what has helped, so far. Granted, the oldest is only 12... who knows what lies ahead. But, my kids tell me things, even when they know they're going to be punished.
    Yep, this is so true. My best friend (who has a 16 year old) once told me that years of guidance and training can be thrown out the window with your kid and about 10 minutes with a friend.

    Teaching kids to be leaders and thinkers and not getting caught up in being followers is more work than not when they want to go with the flow and fit it. So you can't expect to get out what of them what you haven't put in them.
    "Everyday is a Gift, A Blessing, An Opportunity!" - GM

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  6. #26  
    Quote Originally Posted by Christinac130
    The most important thing is to stay involved with your kids. Don't leave it to the school to teach your kids about life...
    Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! What has she won, Roddy?

    That's the real deal here. Through all the social experiements our society is trying, the tried and true is still parents teaching their children with support from other responsible adults (professional, i.e. teachers or otherwise, i.e. neighbors).
  7. #27  
    Quote Originally Posted by chillig35
    Actually this may not be true ....parents may not have such a large influence on children as most people like to believe. The peer groups have the largest influence (see Judith Harris' "The Nurture Assumption"). Kids tend to be influenced most by other kids behavior. So whether you want to go public or private - perhaps it may be worthwhile to check out the other kids - see what they're like or how they've turned out.
    I will agree with you in that peers do play a large role in the social development of our children...however....when the parents are deeply rooted in their children's lives and teaching them the fundemental and moral ethics of life whether it be christian or not, they will be able to fend off the negative influences a whole lot better because they had parents who cared enough to do what sometimes hurts.

    As much as we would all like to give our children everything they ever wanted and let them do as they please, it is MUCH harder to be a good parent than a bad one. And that's where our society has strayed...we've become lazy in our parenting because we'd rather not fight with them or "dare I spank, or I might be put in jail for child abuse" or "if I don't let him do *this* he won't love me". Well it's not about you...it's about what's best for the child.
    The only thing that separates the men from the boys...is the lessons they learn.
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  8. vw2002's Avatar
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       #28  
    I agree with millsda completely.
    I am shocked at the way parents will simply stand and watch as their kids run around yelling, screaming, everything they can think of without any type of discipline whatsoever.
    its like parents just don't feel like parenting. or worse, it seems they are proud of how obnoxious their kids are! its incredible!

    its true you have to be an integral player in your childrens' lives so that they have some sense of the "guardrails" later in life.
    I gotta have more cowbell
  9. #29  
    I agree with millsda too .... it is hard to be a good parent - period!

    However, unless you're living in a very small and secluded community, or are home-schooling your child, it is extremely difficult to fend off peer influences, no matter how involved you are.

    For example, during graduate school I was located close to a small tight-knit community. The parents were heavily involved in all the children's activities and majority had at least one parent (mom) at home. Yet the entire community was shocked when the police busted a drug ring that included several honor students as well found out a lot of sordid details of their own kids lives. I've heard and read several variations of this theme across the country. Anybody here have seen this also?
    Palm m505 -> Treo600 (GSM ATT) -> Treo650 (Cingular) -> BB8700g -> BB Pearl
    "The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come."
  10. #30  
    I gotta say guys & gals, ~so far~, the tone of this discussion is exactly why I spend more time on this forum than any others

    Not just alot of flamin' and fightin' on a fairly controversial subject

    I agree, what happens at home is the most important part of a kid's growing up process!

    I went to two private schools and two public schools growing up and I had likes and dislikes for all of them. I think alot of it has to do with the priorities as a parent and what you feel is right for your family. Both of my kids are in a private Christian school & we absolutely love the organization. God plays the most important role in our lives, so we get that component of the education, and also the academics, extra-cirricular activities, and parent involvement are exceptional. It comes with a price though, but we feel it's worth it for us.

    There are alot of variables for sure; academics, sports, music, religion, social setting, safety, etc.

    -jeff
    -jeff

    ...the Truth will set you free!
  11. #31  
    Does anyone think there is an appropriate age whereby the children can be included in making the decision for themselves as to where they would rather go? Or should it be completely the parents' responsibility and decision to choose that?
    The only thing that separates the men from the boys...is the lessons they learn.
    www.planetmills.com
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