1.  12/06/2004, 05:41 PM too funny, I am procrastinating as we speak from studying for my thermodynamics final When the dark clouds gather on the horizon, when thunder and lightning fills the sky, When fate is but a glint in the eye of a fallen Rattler, And hopes are lost friends, When the sinew of the chest grows weary from those hard-charging linebackers, And the muscles in the legs grow tired from those hard-charging running backs ... You must remember that the Rattlers will... Strike, Strike, and Strike again.
2.  12/06/2004, 07:45 PM Originally Posted by Chick-Dance Can a person who is bound for heaven have a clue about hell? Here's the answer: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Feshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." The previous is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
3.  12/06/2004, 08:24 PM Ebay Question: How come with everything I buy on ebay, I wait until there is 3 seconds left to bid?
4.  12/06/2004, 09:10 PM Originally Posted by Chick-Dance Why is the battery in my iBook about to die? Because you have too many toys? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
5.  12/06/2004, 10:43 PM To keep Con Ed in business? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
6.  12/10/2004, 02:19 PM What's up with the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? She can't sleep at night thinking about the existance of dog...
7.  12/10/2004, 02:24 PM Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
8.  12/10/2004, 02:37 PM Why do wrong numbers always dial back? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
9.  12/10/2004, 02:45 PM There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
10.  12/10/2004, 03:13 PM What were they thinking when they came up with the English system of units? Palm III > Palm V > Palm Vx > (Sprint) Kyo 6035 > Handspring Treo 300 > Handspring Treo 600 Oct.'03 > Palm Treo 700P May'06 > Treo 755P Aug.'07 > Pre(-) June'09 + TouchPad July'11 LONG LIVE webOS!!!
11.  12/10/2004, 03:53 PM What were they thinking when they thought "The Tortellis" would be a good spin-off from Cheers? or Mama's Family from the Carol Burnett Show? or Just the Ten of Us from Growing Pains? Palm III > HS Visor > Treo 600 > Treo 650 > Treo 750 > Treo Pro > PrePlus GSM "95% of all software issues are due to USER ERROR."
12.  12/10/2004, 04:53 PM When did 'Time' start? Make It Happen!! If you don't, who will?
13.  12/10/2004, 06:20 PM If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
14.  12/10/2004, 06:22 PM If you can have disgruntled employees, are the rest of your staff gruntled?
15.  12/10/2004, 06:22 PM Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
16.  12/10/2004, 06:23 PM Why don't they make the rest of the airplane out of the same stuff the black box recorder is made out of?
17.  12/11/2004, 08:16 AM How do the "Do Not Walk On The Grass" signs get in the grass? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
18.  12/11/2004, 08:16 AM Do bald people get dandruff? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
19.  12/11/2004, 08:18 AM Why do companies offer you "free gifts" when gifts have always been free? << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>. Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
20.  12/11/2004, 10:28 AM How does a shepherd count his flock without falling asleep?
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