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  1.    #1  
    Christmas at T|C

    As a joke, Oops used to hang a pair of panty hose over his Treo 777 before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.

    What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Oop's kids' (clulup and ACDriver)stockings were overflowing, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

    One year m00se and I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. m00se said, "I don't think they sell those things at Walmart."

    We had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. We were there an hour with m00se saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" and "Who would buy that?"

    Finally, we made it to the inflatable doll section. m00se wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in his taxi so he wouldn't be alone traveling to visit Peter Brown.

    Finding what we wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models.

    The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things m00se had only seen in a book on animal husbandry.

    We settled for "Charming Chickie." She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Chickie a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

    On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Chickie came to life. Our pal, clulup and ACDriver were in on the plan and let us in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone.

    We filled the dangling pantyhose with Chickie's pliant legs and bottom. We also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. We went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

    The next morning we got a call to say that Santa had been to the house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

    We all agreed that Chickie should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

    Muziek noticed Chickie the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked. We quickly explained, "It's a doll."

    "Who would play with something like that?" Muzie snapped.

    We had several candidates in mind, but kept our mouths shut.

    "Where are her clothes?" Muzie continued.

    "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Muzie," m00se said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Muzie was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, we could have answered, but why would we? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Muzie! Hang on!"

    Now, Dee Zaster, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to us and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the Treo?"

    I told him she was Oop's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Dee Zaster by the Treo, talking to Chickie. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was
    then that we realized this might be Dee Zaster's last Christmas at home.

    The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Chickie made a noise that sounded a lot like Peter Brown in the bathroom in the morning.

    Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

    The cat screamed. m00se and I passed cranberry sauce through our noses, and Dee Zaster ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. clulup and ACDriver fell back over their chairs, wetting thier pants. Muzie threw down her napkin, shouting something about suing somebody, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

    It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in the garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Chickie's collapse. We discovered that Chickie had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

    Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

    Chickie went on to star in several bachelor party movies.

    We think Dee Zaster still calls whenever Muzie lets him out of the house.

    Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!!
    Last edited by tjd414; 12/03/2004 at 01:44 PM.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  2. #2  
    You made me hopeful, tjd Happy holidays to you too -- Cheers!
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  3.    #3  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    I am a deflate-able dull? A toy? A Christmas gift? Can I replace Oops with Tom Cruise then?
    (The story is priceless, tjd)
    You're definitely not dull, according to your 10+ posts per day ... could qualify as a toy (depending to whom you spoke) ... most certainly a gift (at least to us t|c'ers that read) and ... no, you can't have Tom Cruise -- he doesn't like blondes (remember, he threw out Nicole for Penelope)!
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad

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