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  1.    #1  
    JOB APPLICATION


    NAME: John Kerry

    RESIDENCES: 7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
    Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a U.S. Sena! tor. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    MILITARY:
    I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting th! e war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    COLLEGE:
    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no h! igher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
    As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exc! eeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. ! I served in Vietnam (four months).

    I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantuc! ket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
    None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

    PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith when cameras are present.

    I ride a Serotta Bike.

    I love to ski/snowboard (especially when secret service agents don't get in my way).

    My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel".

    I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

    I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

    I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.

    I served in Vietnam (four months).

    Please consider me for your employee, after 20 years, there will be no record (bad or good) of my employment or acomplishments...
  2. procure's Avatar
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    #2  
    Lol... although unfortunately, I believe Kerry will retain his Senate seat.
  3.    #3  
    Did I mention, he was in vietnam???
  4. #4  
    The election isn't over yet, kids.
  5. #5  
    hang on to the last hair of possibility, kitty, but new mexico is ultimately, bush's win - and he wins the election.


    for what its worth, I think kerry should go be in charge of the UN, since he was all about the group in the debates. maybe he will see why the UN whose speed of accomplishment is the only process on earth which would make one want to perscribe ritalin to a glacier, as kerry as koffi annan do the slow waltz of death while hundreds of thousands of people continue to die in places like darfur.

    cya in the un, kerry. say hi to koffi for all of us and.....HAVE FUN!!!!
  6. #6  
    Find me one major network that has declared Bush the winner. You won't find one. In fact, CBS just moved Ohio back into the undecided category. You'll have plenty of time to gloat when and if he wins, but for now, it's just too close still.
  7. #7  
    I am sure he will find something very lucrative in the support of the current liberation of Iraq
  8. #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by Eurokitty
    The election isn't over yet, kids.
    Hey Kitty- read the writing on the wall. It's over pal.
  9. #9  
    Quote Originally Posted by Eurokitty
    Find me one major network that has declared Bush the winner. You won't find one. In fact, CBS just moved Ohio back into the undecided category. You'll have plenty of time to gloat when and if he wins, but for now, it's just too close still.
    Yeah, CBS moved OHIO. This is the same CBS with Dan Rather the liar right?
  10. #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by Eurokitty
    Find me one major network that has declared Bush the winner. You won't find one. In fact, CBS just moved Ohio back into the undecided category. You'll have plenty of time to gloat when and if he wins, but for now, it's just too close still.
    I see you posted at 1:30 am......now both NBC and Fox have declared Bush the winner in Ohio, soooooo....I hope you don't have any sharp object around....
  11. #11  
    Quote Originally Posted by BillK400
    I see you posted at 1:30 am......now both NBC and Fox have declared Bush the winner in Ohio, soooooo....I hope you don't have any sharp object around....
    Yeah... but Fox News, not known for its credibility, makes Dan Rather look like a saint. And unlike Dan Rather, they don't usually bother with those silly things called "corrections."
    Dave
  12. #12  
    Quote Originally Posted by dacloutier
    Yeah... but Fox News, not known for its credibility, makes Dan Rather look like a saint. And unlike Dan Rather, they don't usually bother with those silly things called "corrections."
    What about NBC?......hope all you want, but looks like Kerry will retain his job as the most liberal senator.
  13. #13  
    Quote Originally Posted by BillK400
    What about NBC?......hope all you want, but looks like Kerry will retain his job as the most liberal senator.
    I don't have problems with NBC's credibility. But it's really not up to the news media to decide the election. (Or rather it shouldn't be up to them!) They're just reporting the most likely outcome. But nobody's %100 percent sure yet.
    Dave
  14. #14  
    Quote Originally Posted by Eurokitty
    The election isn't over yet, kids.
    It looks pretty bad, but it's not over yet. http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-d...-2004Nov3.html

    Still, it looks like Bush is the winner. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. It might be fun living in a police state.
    Dave
  15. #15  
    keep dreaming....and PLEASE keep whining! I do luv it when liberals whine, it sooo entertaining.
  16. #16  
    Since Kerry is such a sports buff, maybe if he gives up his Senate seat, he could become the Commissioner of MLB
    Well behaved women rarely make history
  17.    #17  
    Well, he is officially looking for a job....
  18. #18  
    Quote Originally Posted by BillK400
    keep dreaming....and PLEASE keep whining! I do luv it when liberals whine, it sooo entertaining.
    Whine whine whine whine [over 1100 dead American soldiers] whine [over 10,000 dead Iraqis] whine [ignoring countries that are actually a threat to us] whine. Whine [even more vulnerable to terrorism] whine whine, whine [30% of our tax cuts to the wealthiest 1%] whine whine [mercury in the water] whine. Whine whine [$422 billion federal budget deficit] whine, whine whine [off the top of my head can't think of a single good thing Bush has done for us] whine whine.

    Just wanted to keep you happy.
    Dave
  19. #19  
    Quote Originally Posted by clairegrrl
    Since Kerry is such a sports buff, maybe if he gives up his Senate seat, he could become the Commissioner of MLB
    Along with Condi Rice as the NFL commissioner

    http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlot...9657512.htm?1c
  20. #20  
    Quote Originally Posted by carter437
    Along with Condi Rice as the NFL commissioner

    http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlot...9657512.htm?1c
    Kewl
    Well behaved women rarely make history
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