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  1. #41  
    Quote Originally Posted by Mahootzki
    A man recieves his proscription of viagra, anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
    Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
    "What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
    The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry the legs apart on a frozen chicken?"
    Hey, weren't you complaining about one-liners earlier?
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  2. #42  
    Time to get this thread back to the top --

    You have reached rock bottom and have started to dig.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  3. #43  
    You got a six pack alright, you're just missing the little plastic thingie that holds 'em al together.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  4. #44  
    You apsiration is adequacy and you ain't there yet.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  5. #45  
    Hee hee.. tjd414, sending those to the wife RIGHT NOW!!
    -mbd26
  6. #46  
    A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"
    -mbd26
  7. #47  
    When you open your mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  8. #48  
    When your IQ reaches 50, you should sell.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  9. #49  
    It's hard to believe you beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  10. #50  
    Most people drink at the fountain of knowledge, you only gargled.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  11. #51  
    People will follow you anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  12. g.711's Avatar
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    #52  
    Quote Originally Posted by Mahootzki
    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

    WHY DON'T SHARKS EAT CLOWNS

    they taste funny

    so why don't they eat Comedians, cause they taste funnier
    Last edited by g.711; 11/05/2004 at 07:18 AM.
  13. #53  
    When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  14. g.711's Avatar
    Posts
    550 Posts
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    571 Global Posts
    #54  
    Did you hear about the amout of vote Ralph Nader got...\

    for him he almost One.
  15. #55  
    You may not have ulcers, but you're a carrier
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  16. #56  
    If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd get change.
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  17. #57  
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

    Groucho Marx
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  18. #58  
    A man went to the market to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have cards for ex-spouses."

    The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods."

    "Really?"

    "Yes sir. They're called bullets."
    Palm III > Palm V > Palm Vx > (Sprint) Kyo 6035 > Handspring Treo 300
    > Handspring Treo 600 Oct.'03 > Palm Treo 700P May'06 > Treo 755P Aug.'07 > Pre(-) June'09 + TouchPad July'11 LONG LIVE webOS!!!
  19.    #59  
    This 12 year old boy comes home from school, and boasts to his mother, I had sex with my teacher today.
    The mother says, Go to your room RIGHT NOW, wait for your dad to come home, and we'll punish you.. The dad comes home, and the mother tells him about it. The father goes to his room, and says, WOW, I can't believe you were so lucky, the first time I had sex was when i was like 18, come with me and I'll buy you the bike you always wanted, I am so proud of you.
    They go to the bike store, buys it for his son, and tells him, OK drive it home now.

    The boy says, I wanna walk, My *** still hurts me...
  20.    #60  
    What's the most dreaded word to hear from a Mohel/Dr. at a circumcision ?

    Ooops!
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