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  1.    #1  
    NEWSFLASH: Bush's SCARY Wolf Ad Works on Undecided Voters

    After viewing the RNC's "SCARY Wolf Ad", another undecided voter has decided to vote for Bush. In news that has the potential to swing the closely contested electoral votes of Fantasyland to Bush, Little Red Riding Hood has gotten off her tuffet and taken a stand with W.

    "I just saw that realllly SCARY wolf ad on television at Granny's house. Based on my past experience with wolves, Bush is going to protect me from those big, bad wolves better than Kerry. President Bush's policies on the environment mean that there will be fewer wolves around to scare me in the future too! And thanks to his ideas about logging and development in the Big Scary Forest, I'll soon be able to stop at a Starbucks and WalMart on my way to Grandmother's house. God Bless George Bush!" enthused Little Red Riding Hood. "Why, I heard Kerry even patted a wolf on the head once!" exclaimed an indignant Red.

    At a hastily called press conference, Karl Rove offered his usual unbiased opinion. "We knew that folks in Fantasyland would eventually swing our way. After all, who knows more about living in Fantasyland than W?" He was overheard whispering into his cellphone "It looks like you can tell the Evil Queen to keep Operation Poison Apple on hold, for now." Republican pollster Rumplestiltskin produced a straw poll that he immediately spun into Republican gold by proclaiming that "Fantasyland and ALL its first-born now belong to Usssss!!!"

    The Seven Dwarves are among the highest profile Kerry supporters in Fantasyland. "We've been for Kerry ever since our jobs were outsourced to those leprechauns overseas," groused Grumpy the Dwarf. "Bush's stand on not allowing medicine in from Canada and his opposition to stem-cell research helped convince me," added Doc. Dopey insisted that he might still vote for Bush. Bashful declined to comment. Sneezy added his support for Kerry by saying "AHH-Choo!!!.. We need universal... cough, cough! ... healthcare ... sniffle, sniffle." "Zzzzzz," droned Sleepy. Sleepy is considered a likely no-show on Election Day. Happy just smiled.

    Meanwhile, Goldilocks remained one of the last undecided voters in Fantasyland. "I can't decide if Bush is too rightwing... or too stubborn to admit a mistake... or just right for me," mused Goldilocks. "I wonder if he'll have a new ad with lions and tigers and BEARS in it? Now that would really help me deicide."

    Be Brave ,
    EdK
    Last edited by redshifted; 10/26/2004 at 11:27 PM. Reason: forgot to wave my magic wand over it
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  2. #2  
    Lol!
  3. #3  
    ROTF, belly laughing!
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  4. #4  
    Hehe, this got me thinking "hey, this guy took it from the onion" Alas it is not from there, but this is. Pretty cute. Reminds me of a joke urging everyone to vote and demonstrate your party loyalties. Democrats (or Republicans) drive around with your headlights on tomorrow, and Republicans (or Democrats) drive around with them off tomorrow night.

    "With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities to make their presence felt at the polls on Wednesday, Nov. 3." http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4043&n=1
  5. #5  
    Hey Redshifted! Did you write that!? If so you need to think about a career with National Lampoon! Funny!
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  6.    #6  
    Having my little amateur humor piece compared to Nat'l Lampoon and The Onion is high praise indeed. One of my favorite Treo time-wasters is reading the mobile version of The Onion.

    Glad you enjoyed it!
    EdK
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  7. #7  
    LOL! Sure hope "NEWSFLASH: Bush's SCARY Wolf Ad Works" isn't seen by a lot of wolves because Rove is already getting replies from one quick-reaction response team called Wolfpacks For Truth. They're angry at being tricked by camera wielding faux-environmentalists etc.: http://www.WolfpacksForTruth.org/index.html
    Last edited by Canino; 10/29/2004 at 07:02 PM.
    "The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly Proportional to how they perceive the Veterans of earlier wars were treated and appreciated by their Nation" - Geo. Washington
  8. #8  
    Excellent, stand by for bizzare rebuttal/justification from our dedicated band of Republican harpies.
  9. #9  
    Quote Originally Posted by Canino
    LOL! Sure hope "NEWSFLASH: Bush's SCARY Wolf Ad Works" isn't seen by a lot of wolves because Rove is already getting replies from one quick-reaction response team called Wolfpacks For Truth. They're angry at being tricked by camera wielding faux-environmentalists etc.: http://www.WolfpacksForTruth.org/index.html
    lol
    Animo et Fide
  10.    #10  
    Maybe I will run with the Looney Tunes party next time - I just can't stop flip-flopping on whether its "RABBIT SEASON" or "DUCK SEASON" though

    Keep Smilin' - It really confuses them ,
    EdK
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  11. #11  
    glad to hear it red
    this is the funniest political thread I've read here I think.
    May I suggest a policy for your party? All children must watch cartoons for homework.
    Animo et Fide
  12.    #12  
    News reports remain sketchy, but it appears that Weapons of Mass Destruction have at last been found. "I can confirm that they exist!!!" proclaimed the Emperor of Fantasyland. "My new tailors had been hard at work on my new robe for the Bush Coronation Ball... errrr, re-election. They informed me that the WMDs had been there ALL ALONG and that only the smartest people could see them. Of course, I could see them because I'm THE ONE IN CHARGE" the Emperor continued.

    "Why no one else could see them before is a mystery to me. People must not have been looking hard enough. Maybe they just weren't smart enough?" he mused. "Now, I hereby proclaim ALL of Fantasyland to be safe once more!" he added. "HUZZAH!!! HUZZAH!!! Long live our wise leader!!!" cheered his media entourage.

    One little boy remained skeptical.

    EdK
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  13.    #13  
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterBrown
    glad to hear it red
    this is the funniest political thread I've read here I think.
    May I suggest a policy for your party? All children must watch cartoons for homework.
    Great idea Peter!

    In addition, I propose we enact mandatory 4th grade proficiency testing of cartoon knowlege and joke-telling skills for ALL ADULTS . Adults would be required to demonstrate at least a fourth-grader's level of expertise in these subjects. Failure to demonstrate this level of proficiency would require that the adult would attend remedial humor training. This would include the obvious fart jokes and repeated viewing of Monty Python reruns.

    EdK
    Last edited by redshifted; 11/01/2004 at 03:59 PM. Reason: edit? what edit?
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