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  1.    #1  
    Take a break from the election news and speculation on the release of the 650 with this unbelievable piece found in our paper 2 days ago.

    Man cuts off ***** by mistake – and his dog eats it up!

    Bucharest: An elderly Romanian man mistook his ***** for a chicken’s neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the State Rompres news agency said yesterday.
    It said 67-year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night. “I confused it with the chicken’s neck,” Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. “I cut it… and the dog rushed and ate it.”
    Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger. - Reuters

    I kid you not!
    Banoo... what's that smell?
  2. #2  
    Animo et Fide
  3. #3  
    This post is meant to only EXPRESS my opinions on this matter, and in no way am I trying to anger, upset that poor poor Romanian dog-lover, or any readers whose little friends are in any way connected or resembling chicken's appendages or body parts, or even those who are simply feathered down there.

    If you are under the age of 18, a feathered friend or cleaver-happy and bored, please do not continue to read my post, instead feel free to check out a link with not such shameless content as this....

    This link is for all those whom the previous news item post may have given them some dangerous recipes.... it is a link to lovely cooking recipes for your beloved hairy friend's appetite.....specifically check out PHOTOGRAPH TWO.... http://members.tripod.com/~RavenwoodDals/barfmeal.htm

    (Also, if one still has questions, feel free to read this...
    http://www.faqs.org/qa/qa-9120.html )

    IF you are under 18, yet have no canine companion, how about treating yourself to that well deserved chow.... http://www.recipehound.com/Recipes/Recipes2/6649.html

    IF HOWEVER, you are vegetarian, then please instead continue browsing the posts of this forum, ever-forgetting such disgusting links as the ones above, and enjoy your salads!

    -------------------


    We ALL know that this chicken didn't exist.
    The elderly man was lonely, and his dog was the only love of his life still alive.
    The man, needing to feed his loneliness (and his dog!), decided it was time the dog showed its appreciation to him for all the years of treats, walkees etc.

    Unfortunately either the dog didn't appreciate this request, or the old man had forgot to feed him for a while, either way something happened to the dog's jaw muscles and what was meant to be a pleasurable experience turned out to be well a non-tail wagging hellish moment.

    No, I don't know the man, nor have experience in such matters......other than I downloaded a tv show the other day called 101 sexual disasters/accidents or something, talking about a number of news items like these, eg the man whose ***** got stuck in the vacuum hole thing of a swimming pool, or the man who microwaved a melon to make it nice and warm (in order to make a more realistic simulation of well....you guessed it)......unfortuantely at time of use, he hadn't realised some of the melon was well, warmer than other bits, and ended up in hospital with 3rd degree burns you-know-where!

    The list is endless.............but what is even more shocking than these ridiculous accidents is the hysterically unbelievable excuses the victim comes up with when explaining what happened to their local hospital ER unit.

    Chasing a chicken making too much noise in the middle of the night, whose neck just so happend to look like his *****??
    Come on!!!

    And even if that man was telling the truth, and he really was after a chicken, and when about to cut of its head, he accidentally removed his hanging member, protruding out his dressing gown......even if that is all true..........then for it to be true, the chicken would have had to be between his legs..........what on earth was it doing there??? (I mean, even if one can mistake their own member for a chicken's neck, you wouldn't make the mistake if the chicken was on the other side of the field now would you!?!)

    I personally am quite good friends with my mini-me (!!), and so is my wife, and after a long intellectual discussion we have both unanimously arrived at the decising that in no way could we make the same mistake (thank God for that...phew!!). If his excuse was not an excuse but the truth, it is our belief that he must have had a rather large falling-out with his mini-him quite a long time ago, so long he forgot how his little friend's visage resembled.


    The only part of me that does believe this story, is that ever since I got into cooking about 6 years ago, and making a great Jamie Oliver recipe of Roast Chicken with Rosemary and Lemon and Bay Leaves.........(before which I really hated handling chickens....steaks are fine, they don't still resemble a cow, but a chicken still looks like a chicken)..........well since then whenever I go to the supermarket to buy the foul, I HAVE ALWAYS ASKED THEM TO REMOVE THE NECK.

    I am in no way problematic when it comes to taking my knife and removing an appendage or other piece of a carcass........however, once I have removed the neck, i have always found it disgustingly hard to pick it up and put it in the bin, as when detached from it's owner, it really does resemble a very ugly animal's *****. (Something I personally would rather not hold).

    Even (and I promise you this is the truth), even when watching the woman in the supermarket pick up her mini-me (no...I mean her cleavage, sorry CLEAVER)....and make the guilty chop, I really feel a sharp pain "down there"....so there is some resemblance.

    HOWEVER, A chicken in a fridge, plucked, feathers removed etc, ready for roasting, yes its neck may SLIGHTLY resemble a ***** of some sort (definately nothing like mine)........however when part of a living chicken, covered in feathers, skin etc........man that guy needs a brazilian waxing if his looked like that.

    I personally challenge this man's excuse.....and to be honest if I was in his position, I personally would prefer to admit to bestiality with my "man's best friend" (the dog I mean), or at least to trying to extend my already loving relationship with my only remaining companion alive.............rather than admit to the world that my jolly roger in anyway resembles part of a chicken (even in the dark).

    My only last question, one for the medically minded members (no! I mean members of this board, not "MEMBERS"!!)....out there, is this.....

    I am aware that when removing a chickens head, it may perambulate for a while afterwards, and that (after watching the exorcist 3 last night), when decapitating a fellow homosapien, he can continue to look around for 20 seconds afterwards (I'm sure you didn't want to know that!)......my question is this, once my Romanian friend out there made the awful chop, and realised what he did after noticing the chicken was running around with its head still attached, when looking down before Fido came for his dinner, did he see his little chum running around the field, or is that medically impossible??

    I am aware that while still attached, one's 3rd leg does not know how to walk, let alone run, only stand to attention like a diligent soldier (though have tried to teach him to dance to James Brown on more than one occasion), however looking down I often wonder, under the full knowledge that he really does have a mind of his own (at least that's what I tell my girlfriends when they're in the mood for talking, and I has an animalistic being am not), I often wonder that maybe if he was to be set free, if he would continue to strive, progress, learn and run around a field like a headless chicken.

    Having perused over my mumbled rambilings in this post, I am starting to worry about myself........at least worrying that comparing that Bucharest knife-happy nightchopper to myself makes even him look the epitamy of normality.

    An appropriate quote comes to mind, and with that I shall leave you to discuss with your wife about ***** vs. chicken neck appearances.

    "Gonads are useful for their purpose, but they are no substitute for brains"

    I apologise to any whom this post has upset, or at least caused a "sharp pain down there".

    Peace
    Serious shouts out to TreoCentral - you rule!!! (and all it's members who make up this wonderful community).

    Have a great day/night!
    I.S.W.Y
    "All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream"
  4.    #4  
    didn't think of that... I thought maybe he just had an unusually long one and while dangling got tangled with the chicken neck.

    BTW... enjoyed reading your truly thought provoking response.
    Brian
    Banoo... what's that smell?

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