View Poll Results: If Chick contacts the AFLAC-Duck: What he's going to say?

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  • Let's meet in my limo at 4PM darlin'

    61 36.97%
  • Let me sleep on it first, Chicky

    13 7.88%
  • You? You low-class farmer chick... Scram!

    58 35.15%
  • Ha?..

    33 20.00%
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  1. #5541  
    Quote Originally Posted by ACDriver
    Claim?!!! Claim?!! I was on a frickin' mission from God!!!!! You think it's easy doing this job!!!! There I was at 35,000 feet, on the way to Atlanta when the F/O says, "Hey were right over Virginia Beach where they are having the photo shoot for Miss Virginia."

    There is this flash of heavenly light, a deep deep voice in my head says, "Save them in their hour of need". And the next thing I know we are on the beach, the main landing gear are buried in the sand and the F/O is trying to hit me with the fire-ax.........
    LOL! - See, it's true, it has to be, nobody could paint it in such vivid colors otherwise - though I find it slightly worrying that this makes perfect sense to me when told by ACDragon. Anyway, here's a picture a tourist took only minutes before the plane went down on the beach: Photo AP/Virginia Morning Star exclusive

    I also worry a bit about the site jpahl quoted, mainly because it carries the same Orange logo as my Treo... I wonder why he chose those three stories, and not the next one in the list ?
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  2. smn
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    #5542  
    Can anyone lend me $5billion? Then I can buy a large company and use its assets to pay you back. Then I can sell the company and make an instant fat profit. (Malcolm Glazer told me how to do it)
  3. smn
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    #5543  
    I know, it's sad. (I support Manchester City)


    I thought he was good in Starsky and Hutch, though.
  4. #5544  
    Quote Originally Posted by smn
    Can anyone lend me $5billion? Then I can buy a large company and use its assets to pay you back. Then I can sell the company and make an instant fat profit. (Malcolm Glazer told me how to do it)
    Wait a sec, I don't understand this. How could he sell with a fat profit if he used the assets to pay back the $5billion? And why is it bad for Manchester as a sports team?

    I guess I am also confused because here rich men invest into soccer only to lose a lot of money.
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  5. smn
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    #5545  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Wait a sec, I don't understand this. How could he sell with a fat profit if he used the assets to pay back the $5billion? And why is it bad for Manchester as a sports team?

    I guess I am also confused because here rich men invest into soccer only to lose a lot of money.
    I can't get my head round this either. How can you borrow money to buy something in order to use the thing you've bought to pay off the loan you got to buy the thing in the first place?
  6.    #5546  
    Quote Originally Posted by smn
    I can't get my head round this either. How can you borrow money to buy something in order to use the thing you've bought to pay off the loan you got to buy the thing in the first place?
    I dont' know the particulars of this case, but two ideas come to mind: borrowing money to buy stuff using the stuff you're buying as security against the loan. Second, you can borrow money to buy something and then sell it for more than you purchased it and make a profit.

    An example: when you buy a house, you borrow the money using your "target" to support the loan. If someone comes and offers you more money than you paid, you take it, pay off the loan and pocket the difference.
  7. smn
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    #5547  
    1) Depends what you're swallowing.

    2) Dunno, can't get the ruler round the bends.

    3) Hey, my daughter is called Monica, don't knock it.

    4) Of (as in duchess of .....)

    5) I can't remember

    6) Yes but chewier

    7) In case they jab themselves first by accident

    8) Uzbekistan, new zealand, Hawaii, Vatican City, Japan, Wales (my house) oh and Tennessee

    9) Well I was a feeling a little goofy yesterday, and she's definitely male.

    10) Can i phone the audience?
  8. #5548  
    A story from many many years ago......

    I was flying for a small commuter airline in a small 8 pax airplane. It was late at night and we had only two passengers, both of them going from Boston to Springfield, VT. One of the passengers was male, one was female, they didn't seem to know each other....get your minds out of the gutter it's not one of THOSE stories.

    When the male passenger boarded I could tell that he had been drinking...he smelled and he was a tad bit unsteady on his feet. This was not real unusual as many people when confronted with a flight on a small airplane needed a bit of a "stabilizer" to see them through the flight. I knew/thought he would sleep most of the flight as once you get them to about 10,000 feet in a unpressurized plane they usually conk out pretty fast.

    The beginning of the flight was uneventful, good weather, smooth air. It was my leg and we were all stable in cruise when I felt someone moving in the plane....when the plane is that small you can feel someone moving foreward or aft. I turned around in my seat and saw the female passenger try to get the male passenger to sit back down as he was trying to head towards the cockpit....it's all one big area anyways.

    So I hand the plane off to the other pilot and I get up and head back to talk to the guy. By the time I get back to him he is half sitting in one of the seats. I say, "Buddy, what's up? Is there a problem?" Slurring heavily he says, "Where are we going?" I say, "Springfield, Vermont" He starts to shake his head side to side and says loudly, "I DON"T want to go to Springfield....I want to go...I want to go...I want to go to Milllwaukee!!" I say, "Well, sir, your on the wrong plane then, because this plane is going to Springfield Vermont, we don't even have enough gas to go to Millwaukee."

    He said, "Oh, God, I can't go to Springfield, I need to go to Millwaukee." I felt kinda bad for the guy, because it was clear that he was really really depressed about getting on the wrong plane...how he got on the wrong plane I had no idea, but stranger things had happened and will happen again. So I tell him that we will be in Springfield in about 30 minutes and we will try and figure something out then. He seems to accept that so I go back up front, sit down, strap in, take the controls, get the aircraft trimmed the way I like it, and ......feel him coming up the aisle again. So back I go again where the lady is trying to hold him back....now I am a little pissed.

    I say, "Buddy!, you got to sit down and stay down! He says, "Where are we going?" I say, "We have already had this conversation, we are going to Springfield Vermont!" He says, "I CAN'T go to Springfield, I need to go.....to Millwaukee!" I say, "Okay, buddy, here's what we are going to do, I am going to call ahead to the ticket agent and she will book you on the first flight out of Springfield to Millwaukee....how's that sound?" He says, "okay I guess".

    Now, there are no flights to Millwaukee out of Springfield. Not that night, not ever. In fact the next flight out of Springfield was the next morning, with me, back to Boston. So I call ahead and tell the ramp and security guys to stand by the plane door when we land because this guy is going to take one look at Springfield airport and realize that he ain't going anywhere. In 1979 the airport looked just like it did when Lindburg landed there in 1946.

    We land, I open the door, the guy follows me out, the ramp guys catch him as he trips and does a half gainer from the top step and they manage to catch him before he hits the pavement......and from over in the parking lot comes this ungodly, screeching womans voice. It's a voice from HELL, with several discordent tones combined, causing all men within a half mile radius to start mewing like a dog about to be beaten. The voice from hell says, "You drunken *******, you can't get on the plane without drinking yourself stupid, what an ***, why did I ever marry you...blah blah, screech screech...." THIS is why he didn't want to come to Springfield...because THIS is where his Wife from Hell lived.

    All of the men surrounding this airplane went right into self preservation mode...we all looked at our feet, so as not to be turned into to stone, and put our hands over our groins to protect ourselves. This she-witch grabbed this guy, dragged him towards the parking lot, screeching in his face the whole way. One of the security guys asked me if he could shoot her....I said, "No, better not. But if you want to go to heaven, shoot him."
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  9. #5549  
    Quote Originally Posted by ACDriver
    A story from many many years ago......
    This is a great story sir ACD. Funny as rain in March. Good one
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  10. #5550  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    Sunday's top-10 Trivia:
    1. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    2. How long is my large intestine?
    3. Why Monica? (question for Bill Clinton)
    4. What is the middle name of the queen of England's youngest niece?
    5. What number was I thinking of that I forgot?
    6. Mr. Tyson, does Holyfields ear taste like chicken?
    7. Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
    8. What 7 states can you see from atop Lookout Mtn in Rock City, Tenn?
    9. Is Goofy a male or female?
    10. Is that your final answer?
    1. Don't know - don't care
    2. As large as one's foot or fish?
    3. Why not?
    4. Ha?
    5 You tell me, ChickenNoodles
    6. It depends, what do you taste like?
    7. Don't know - don't care
    8. Don't know - don't care
    9. Never bothered to check
    10. Are you asking me?

    What a weird trivia you NoGoodBird! Sheeeesh.
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  11. #5551  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    Sunday's top-10 Trivia:
    1. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    2. How long is my large intestine?
    3. Why Monica? (question for Bill Clinton)
    4. What is the middle name of the queen of England's youngest niece?
    5. What number was I thinking of that I forgot?
    6. Mr. Tyson, does Holyfields ear taste like chicken?
    7. Why do they sterilize lethal injections?
    8. What 7 states can you see from atop Lookout Mtn in Rock City, Tenn?
    9. Is Goofy a male or female?
    10. Is that your final answer?
    I don't have time for this, this morning...although I do love a quickie in the morning...

    1. Depends, A European or an African swallow....and boy do I have some other answers for this one!!!
    2. Approximetley the same length as clulups, much shorter them mine and much longer then Ooops the Cat's.
    3. Unfortunatly the answer is the same for many men. Availability.
    4. Charles (it's a funny family, Wot?)
    5. 69?
    6. No, it tastes more like Fatback....or so I am told.
    7. They don't. That's a myth. They do however say, "Sorry, this will ***** a bit."
    8. I can't do better the jpahl on this one...lol
    9. I am surprised that as a married woman you have to ask this question. As a side note have you ever heard the comedian doing an imitation of Goofy in prision with Bubba? "Huhuhnug! Gorsh!, Huhuhnug! Gorsh!" Repeat.
    10. Yeah Baby.
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  12. #5552  
    Hmmmm...a Mini-Chick. If you got one, you know you would have to get a Mac Mini, along with an iPod Mini. It would only seem right.
    MaxiMunK.com The Forum That Asks, "Are You Not Entertained?"

    Remember: "Anyone that thinks the Treo should just work right out of the box, shouldn't own a Treo..."
  13. smn
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    #5553  
    Nice to see you've got a small European car, not a big gas guzzler. My central heating oil costs more cos of you lot and your driving season.
  14. #5554  
    Quote Originally Posted by ACDriver
    A story from many many years ago......
    Excellent story, ACD!

    And, Chick, a Mini is a good choice for you fashion conscious New Yorkers!

    Okay, it's actually a pretty fun car to drive. A little over-priced for what you get, but fun. Not only that but it's a, uh, chick magnet! Really. There's a guy I work with that has one, and pretty young things wander over to him in parking lots going, "Oh, it's so cute!" Maybe you'll meet some cute chicks, too. If you do, don't forget to invite me over!
  15. #5555  
    Great car Noodles. Bought it in NY or buying it in MN? When is the big move?


    Am I the only one noticing that clu-lu is missing? Is Switzerland burning?
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  16. #5556  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    Am I the only one noticing that clu-lu is missing? Is Switzerland burning?
    I was away on a special course in scientific detective work (you know, CSI and all that jazz).

    I have to say those new technologies were quite an eye-opener. I have to officially revoke all my previous statements as far as my research topics in this thread are concerned...



    Besides, we don't work on Whitmonday. Don't tell me you do?? Don't you know about Pentecost?
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  17. #5557  
    Was ACD behind this?

    Flight Attendants Strip in Protest
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  18. #5558  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    I plead Mea Culpa, which of course is Latin for "no body".

    The orgin of Mea Culpa comes from when the Latins, or, in the case of the southern Latins, the Latinos, would try to pinch the fanny (Brits go Whoa! ) of pretty girls in the old days and strictly translated means "Me-a wanta the Body".

    Some scholars disagree with this theory and insist that Mea Culpa is in fact the response of the pretty girls who would turn around after the offending pinch and say, wagging there fingers and head, "No-a-Body for You-a" (for a fun morning laugh try this in front of mirror using a "modern Gangsta" female accent and body language.


    On a different subject....question for you clulup. Is a Pentacostal someone who lives on 10 coasts or something? Or is that a decacostal?...wait, no it's a decadoaheadralcostal right?
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  19. #5559  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    I have to say those new technologies were quite an eye-opener. I have to officially revoke all my previous statements as far as my research topics in this thread are concerned...
    Does this mean that that officially you retract all statements indicating that Chicken Droppings is a pretty woman and that you now believe she/he/it is really a 55 y/o fat guy living in the Bronx?

    I KNEW IT!!!

    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  20. #5560  
    Quote Originally Posted by jpahl
    Whoa!!



    jpahl, you crack me up !!
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite

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