View Poll Results: If Chick contacts the AFLAC-Duck: What he's going to say?

Voters
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  • Let's meet in my limo at 4PM darlin'

    61 36.97%
  • Let me sleep on it first, Chicky

    13 7.88%
  • You? You low-class farmer chick... Scram!

    58 35.15%
  • Ha?..

    33 20.00%
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  1. #4181  
    One for you, Chickie ...

    What direction do most baseball pitchers pitch toward?
    A. West
    B. East
    C. North
    D. South
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  2. #4182  
    *raises hand*
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  3. #4183  
    Quote Originally Posted by scottymomo
    *raises hand*
    I call on scottymomo ...
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  4. #4184  
    AP**terror alert raised in France**

    (8:43:51 AM): Terrorism Alert in France Just Announced!

    AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

    The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's white flag factories, effectively disabling their military.

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  5. #4185  
    Ok, here's a simple puzzle for a lazy weekend:

    There is a room with 17 vaults, labelled 1 to 17. In each vault there are 20 to 30 gold bars. All gold bars look exactly the same, but there is a problem: one vault contains exclusively real gold bars, in the rest of the vaults all bars are fake and worthless. The only observable difference of the bars is the weight: The real gold bars are 1050 grams, the fake gold bars are 1000 grams.

    You can keep all the bars of one vault, so you want to know which one contains the real gold bars.

    Here's what you can do:

    (1) You may take out any number of fake or real gold bars out of any of the vaults.

    (2) You may weigh any combination of the bars on a scale (the scale can easily detect gram differences in a range of 1 to 500 kg). However: you may only weigh ONCE (1 times), meaning you may put all the bars you want on the scale, read the weight the scale returns, think for a while, and name the number of the vault containing the real gold bars.

    Ready, steady, go....


    P.S.: When you post the solution, please indicate how you found it:

    - by thinking
    - by searching for the solution on the internet
    - by asking someone
    - by divine inspiration
    - etc.
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  6. #4186  
    Quote Originally Posted by tjd414
    AP**terror alert raised in France**

    (8:43:51 AM): Terrorism Alert in France Just Announced!

    AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

    The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's white flag factories, effectively disabling their military.

    Huh, Clairegrrl, is that you??
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  7. #4187  
    Quote Originally Posted by tjd414
    I call on scottymomo ...
    West
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    "95% of all software issues are due to USER ERROR."
  8. #4188  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    No here's question for you:
    Why do baseball pitchers hate pitching in Coors Field?
    The wonderful rarified air in the mile high city.

    Balls fly outta there like no tomorrow
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    "95% of all software issues are due to USER ERROR."
  9. #4189  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    You get a point, SM
    *ticks chalkboard*

    /

    2 more to close it out.
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    "95% of all software issues are due to USER ERROR."
  10. #4190  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    Gotta love baseball
    tjd: The right field in baseball is known as the "sun field," meaning it is exposed to the (western) sun. Most ballparks, therefore, plant their home plate in the southwestern corner of the park.
    OK, here's question for you:
    Why do baseball pitchers hate pitching in Coors Field?
    Sheesh, it was a one word answer! And we get this wonderful dissertation and the answer isn't in it?

    I still have that stateroom reserved for ya. though.
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  11. #4191  
    Quote Originally Posted by scottymomo
    West
    Mr. momo, you are correct.

    Can you please talk to Ms. Chick about one word answers? Thak you.
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  12. #4192  
    Quote Originally Posted by tjd414
    Mr. momo, you are correct.

    Can you please talk to Ms. Chick about one word answers? Thak you.
    TJD
    Well if you'd just answer the question...

    SM
    Why don't you just answer the question?

    CLULUP
    Be honest...

    TJD
    No big deal...

    SM
    Yeah, answer it!

    CLULUP
    Answer the question, Chick!

    TJD
    Talk to us!

    CLULUP & SM
    Come on, answer the question!

    TJD
    It's easy, it's only one question!


    LOL
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  13. #4193  
    Quote Originally Posted by jpahl
    Good answer! But not the one on my answer card, which is:
    - the last america's cup was won by alinghi backed by ernesto bertarelli
    - mr bertarelli's wife is called Kirsty
    - Kirsty was a beauty queen and was Miss UK
    - she also writes music, including a song called "black coffee" (about her husband)
    - which was bought and used by the all saints
    So we are talking circular logic here, are we?

    I'm surprised the Chick didn't nail this one with one blow (of the hammer).
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  14. #4194  
    Quote Originally Posted by jpahl
    A good question.

    Mais, maintenant nous tous aime les francais n'est pas?
    She got tired of the abuse and paid me to post that ... no offense, I hope.
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  15. #4195  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    I couldn't just use ONE word even if I wanted to. It's in my soul
    I know, I know, it's one of those woman things ...

    For example, him -- "Sweetheart, would you like to go to the movies tonight?"

    Her -- "Well, I don't know, I'd have to get dressed and do my hair. But then I'd be hungry and we would have to stop off to get something quick to eat. So we would have to leave soon and I don't know if I have time to get ready."

    Him -- "OK, will just get a ppv movie on the dish and stay in."

    Her -- "Well, you know we did that last week and it would sort of be nice to get out of the house tonight. I'll wear these jeans, do they make me look fat?"

    Him -- "Ut - oh!" (Not said, of course ). "Ok, Sweetie, we'll go to the movies, and you look great in those jeans."
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  16. #4196  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    I couldn't just use ONE word even if I wanted to. It's in my soul
    Do you talk in your sleep too, ChickenNoodles?
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  17. #4197  
    That's a good summary of the sexes
    Quote Originally Posted by tjd414
    I know, I know, it's one of those woman things ...

    For example, him -- "Sweetheart, would you like to go to the movies tonight?"

    Her -- "Well, I don't know, I'd have to get dressed and do my hair. But then I'd be hungry and we would have to stop off to get something quick to eat. So we would have to leave soon and I don't know if I have time to get ready."

    Him -- "OK, will just get a ppv movie on the dish and stay in."

    Her -- "Well, you know we did that last week and it would sort of be nice to get out of the house tonight. I'll wear these jeans, do they make me look fat?"

    Him -- "Ut - oh!" (Not said, of course ). "Ok, Sweetie, we'll go to the movies, and you look great in those jeans."
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  18. #4198  
    Guys, after much research, some personally done, I have finally deciphered some words women use and have listed the definitions below. Please read these and come to understand their definitions ...

    FINE

    This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you are wrong and you need to shut up. You will need blankets and a pillow for the couch.

    FIVE MINUTES

    If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. If more than 5 minutes elapses, be prepared for "Fine."

    NOTHING

    This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. These arguments usually begin with "Five Minutes" progress to "Nothing" and usually end in "Fine".

    GO AHEAD

    This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

    *LOUD SIGH*

    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an ***** and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". This will end in "Fine" and you will need a bag for the weekend.

    THAT'S OKAY

    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for what you are about to do, which will be a mistake. Guess what's next ... you got it, "Fine."

    THANKS

    A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome. Anything else you might be tempted to say will cause you to go straight to "Fine" without passing Go.


    WHATEVER (BIG TIME TROUBLE IF SAID IN TWO WORDS)

    It's a woman's way of saying $@&#! YOU! Call your buddies ... go out and have a few cocktails ... stay out late ... it won't matter ... "Fine" was next anyway.

    Don't say I didn't warn you ...
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  19. #4199  
    lol
    tjd414, you are on the roll today. In a word of the wise: priceless!
    Say, there's one thing my wife says a lot, maybe you could interpret that for me? She says "Honey, don't be silly..." a lot. What does it mean?
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  20. #4200  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    lol
    tjd414, you are on the roll today. In a word of the wise: priceless!
    Say, there's one thing my wife says a lot, maybe you could interpret that for me? She says "Honey, don't be silly..." a lot. What does it mean?
    Hmmmm ... either "Fine" or more probably "No" especially if it has to deal with a little "adult" horizontal (or otherwise ) exercise.
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