View Poll Results: If Chick contacts the AFLAC-Duck: What he's going to say?

Voters
165. You may not vote on this poll
  • Let's meet in my limo at 4PM darlin'

    61 36.97%
  • Let me sleep on it first, Chicky

    13 7.88%
  • You? You low-class farmer chick... Scram!

    58 35.15%
  • Ha?..

    33 20.00%
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  1. #3582  
    Bingo !

    I had DirecTV DSL back until they decided to cease operations a couple years ago...
    Palm III > HS Visor > Treo 600 > Treo 650 > Treo 750 > Treo Pro > PrePlus GSM

    "95% of all software issues are due to USER ERROR."
  2. #3583  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    Clulup, how is the product progressing? Do we have a prototype yet?
    Yes, of course, everything running smoothly, sales channels are already established. But Chick fired me, remember? So I had to do it on my own...
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  3. #3584  
    Quote Originally Posted by m00se
    I Didn't know that
    Hello AFLAC Colleagues, how are you guys doing?
    Hi m000se. Everything fine. Would you like to comment on this:

    "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
    (Bertrand Russell)

    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  4. #3585  
    No sex tonight?

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
    heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
    We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things i buy you?"
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    Animo et Fide
  5. #3586  
    Whoo Hoo!!!!!

    Great!
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  6. #3587  
    Thought you might like that AC!
    Animo et Fide
  7. #3588  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    Risking my reputation as a wise chicken: Define "toy," Dragon.
    Define toy? Chicken, I know that english is a second language to you but really....everybody knows what a "toy" is.....

    Let's see, there are toys for kids, and toys for adults (hee hee), there are electronic toys (that's what I am talking about), there are boy toys for the ladys, and there......are......... >>>>SINGING REALLY LOUD like Steven Tyler>>>>>

    TOYS, TOYS, TOYS, IN THE ATTIC,... TOYS, TOYS, TOYS, IN THE ATTIC....

    />>>>dancing around the hotel room playing air guitar....jumping from the bed and landing in a split...uhhhhhhh....crawling to the tub and running hot water....i'm broken.....
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  8. #3589  
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterBrown
    Thought you might like that AC!
    I am still chuckling....lol
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  9. #3590  
    Quote Originally Posted by PeterBrown
    No sex tonight?

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
    heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
    We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things i buy you?"
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    Hoo hoo! I needed a laugh today! PB, this is great!

    Of course, this would NEVER apply to any of the fine women that post on this board, now would it!
    << My command as we escape Palm HQ with a new Pre 3>>.

    Treo 300 >> Treo 600 >> Treo 650 >> Treo 755 >> Instinct >> Pre- >> TouchPad
  10. #3591  
    Quote Originally Posted by Chick-Dance
    8 billions (ask me how I know)
    You counted wrong ChicknNoodles. It’s 4.5 billion pages… Start counting again
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  11. #3592  
    PB, your story is wonderfully funny. I am still laughing!!!
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  12. #3593  
    You know, I was just thinking this morning on the way to work (I know, I know ). AFLAC thread must have a 1,000 to 2.5 Men-to-women ratio. That’s not too good because it could lead to an uncivil war among us men. So I suggest that we send ACD on a very dangerous but necessary quest to SAVE and bring a handful of virgins to this thread. And preferably pretty and smart (no pun intended Chick!).
    So, (Looking at my watch): ACD, you have 5 hours to accomplish this!
    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
    -Michael Pritchard
  13. #3594  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    You know, I was just thinking this morning on the way to work (I know, I know ). AFLAC thread must have a 1,000 to 2.5 Men-to-women ratio. That’s not too good because it could lead to an uncivil war among us men. So I suggest that we send ACD on a very dangerous but necessary quest to SAVE and bring a handful of virgins to this thread. And preferably pretty and smart (no pun intended Chick!).
    So, (Looking at my watch): ACD, you have 5 hours to accomplish this!
    oops, I know your just a cat wearing diapers..but really...OKay Okay!!! Sorry!! I mean a Fine Feline wearing Speedos!! Sorry!! Retract the claws dude!!

    Okay, really, think about this.....Why would I bring "a handful of virgins" into this den of inequity?? Huh? What kind of despoiler do you think I am!!!! I am a Gentlemen before anything else!!! I would no sooner introduce innocent woman to this group of hedonistic animals then I would my own family!!

    Nope, I am going to keep them safe.......here......with me. mjahahahahahah
    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  14. #3595  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    You counted wrong ChicknNoodles. It’s 4.5 billion pages… Start counting again
    Sorry Oops, but this time SHE got right... it's 8,058,044,651 web pages currently, as stated in small print on the Google homepage. Don't let her looks deceive you - I sometimes think she is only blonde on the outside!
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  15. #3596  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Don't let her looks deceive you - I sometimes think she is only blonde on the outside!


    must......not......reply........will.........be............banned..........must.......not........rep ly........will..........be..........banned.......

    "Do the Chickens have large talons?" Napoleon Dynamite
  16. #3597  
    Quote Originally Posted by ACDriver


    must......not......reply........will.........be............banned..........must.......not........rep ly........will..........be..........banned.......

    Come on, ACDragon, what do you worry about? Nobody posting here has ever been banned - well, almost nobody...
    Share your thoughts with us!
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  17. #3598  
    Quote Originally Posted by Oops
    PB, your story is wonderfully funny. I am still laughing!!!
    :bows:
    Animo et Fide
  18. #3599  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Hi m000se. Everything fine. Would you like to comment on this:
    "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
    (Bertrand Russell)
    One caveat: I live in the city, not the suburb
    I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
    -Mark Twain
  19. #3600  
    Hey Chick! There’s a package waiting for you here from a country by the name of Switzerland. Don’t know much about Switzerland except that it is neutral.
    I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
    -Mark Twain

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