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  1. #9521  
    Quote Originally Posted by Zen00 View Post
    Well I'm reading about Napoleon. :P
    Doh! nothing tops a good read about Napoleon
    Pre|central Peacekeepers

    "Keeping the smart phone world at peace one PALM at a time"

    Me and Dropbox, sitting in a tree. S-Y-N-C-I-N-G. http://db.tt/qetBsiR
    Sign up and get 250mb of extra space FREE
  2. #9522  
    Quote Originally Posted by Zen00 View Post
    Well I'm reading about Napoleon. :P
    It's easier to just watch the movie

  3. #9523  
    Not that one. The one who had a Waterloo.
  4. #9524  
    Quote Originally Posted by Zen00 View Post
    Not that one. The one who had a Waterloo.
    and a Swellington...
  5. #9525  
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyFromNam View Post
    and a Swellington...
    Not to mention a case of Boddingtons...
    Pre|central Peacekeepers

    "Keeping the smart phone world at peace one PALM at a time"

    Me and Dropbox, sitting in a tree. S-Y-N-C-I-N-G. http://db.tt/qetBsiR
    Sign up and get 250mb of extra space FREE
  6. #9526  
    Looks like it is just you and I, Guy. No holds barred
    Pre|central Peacekeepers

    "Keeping the smart phone world at peace one PALM at a time"

    Me and Dropbox, sitting in a tree. S-Y-N-C-I-N-G. http://db.tt/qetBsiR
    Sign up and get 250mb of extra space FREE
  7. #9527  
    Welcome to thunderdome!!!!!!!!
    Pre|central Peacekeepers

    "Keeping the smart phone world at peace one PALM at a time"

    Me and Dropbox, sitting in a tree. S-Y-N-C-I-N-G. http://db.tt/qetBsiR
    Sign up and get 250mb of extra space FREE
  8. #9528  
    To whom it may concern,

    Good luck on being #9600

    I am throwing in the towel like 12-6 curve ball
    Pre|central Peacekeepers

    "Keeping the smart phone world at peace one PALM at a time"

    Me and Dropbox, sitting in a tree. S-Y-N-C-I-N-G. http://db.tt/qetBsiR
    Sign up and get 250mb of extra space FREE
  9.    #9529  
    UPDATED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

    DRESS CODE
    It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

    SICK DAYS
    We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    PERSONAL DAYS
    Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

    BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
    This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

    RESTROOM USE
    Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

    LUNCH BREAK
    Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

    -----------------------------------------
  10.    #9530  
    Push your eyes for interesting light show:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things - is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? Or for that matter, watch TV with your eyes shut doing this?

    See how long you can hold your breath:
    (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate beforehand, and stay as still as possible.

    Try to not think about polar bears:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway.

    Scratch yourself:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

    Hurt yourself:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

    Try to swallow your tongue:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.

    Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image:
    (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

    Get yourself as nauseated as possible:
    (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up.

    Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around:
    (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment--does this really work?

    Have a "Who is less competitive" competition:
    (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

    Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view:
    (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view too.
    Last edited by dbdoinit; 09/30/2010 at 08:42 AM.
  11.    #9531  
    Useless Fact #1

    The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.


    Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
  12. #9532  
    The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

    The longest recorded flight of a Palm Pre is 11.2 seconds
  13.    #9533  
    The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.


    (In all my 40yrs, i've never noticed this.)
  14.    #9534  
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyFromNam View Post
    The longest recorded flight of a Palm Pre is 11.2 seconds
    Nope.

    12.98 seconds.
  15.    #9535  
    Useless fact:


    The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
  16. #9536  
    Quote Originally Posted by dbdoinit View Post
    In all my 40yrs
    Useless facts:
    dbdoinit: 40
    namguy: 38
    Who's next?
  17.    #9537  
    Useless fact:


    The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
  18. Slow_S10's Avatar
    Posts
    69 Posts
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    326 Global Posts
    #9538  
    I'll never tell!
    Sprint Customer since 2001
    Palm User since 2004
  19.    #9539  
    Useless fact:


    The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime, while they (the humans, ltm ltm) are asleep.
  20.    #9540  
    Useless fact:


    The ant always falls over on its right side when poisoned.

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