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  1. #81  
    What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

    Laughing stock.
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  2. #82  
    Wat do you call a cow that has had an abortion?

    Decaffeinated
  3. #83  
    What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

    An udder failure!
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  4. Micael's Avatar
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    #84  
    Two cows stand in a field.
    First cow: Are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease thats going round?
    Second cow: Not really, I'm a chicken.
    The Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  5. #85  
    What do cows play at parties?

    Moosical Chairs
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  6. #86  
    What do you get when you cross a cow with a rabbit?

    Hare in your milk
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  7. Micael's Avatar
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    #87  
    Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
    Daisy: I was artificially inseminated this morning.
    Dolly: I don't believe you.
    Daisy: It's true, straight up, no bull!
    The Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  8.    #88  
    There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was.

    The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side.

    The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached.

    The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked.

    The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."
  9. #89  
    A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

    A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
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  10. #90  
    How do you keep an ***** waiting?
  11.    #91  
    Quote Originally Posted by noco37 View Post
    How do you keep an ***** waiting?
    [IMG]
    lol lol lol
  12. #92  
    Quote Originally Posted by noco37 View Post
    How do you keep an ***** waiting?
    That would be an awesome avatar.
    I am no longer a part of the Pre Central Community.
  13. #93  
    Quote Originally Posted by Osiris_C3 View Post
    That would be an awesome avatar.
    But a crappy signature......
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  14. #94  
    British corporation. You have a cow. It gets a hole punctured in it's udder. It leaks for months and polutes all the surrounding farms. Congress forms a panel to investigate.
  15.    #95  
    An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.

    She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.

    The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

    The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

    The woman gives him her license.

    The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

    "HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
  16. #96  
    Quote Originally Posted by pogeypre View Post
    But a crappy signature......
    Just needed a little trim.
    Last edited by Osiris_C3; 06/02/2010 at 05:09 PM. Reason: Spelling
    I am no longer a part of the Pre Central Community.
  17. #97  
    this is great... Now I can read up on the train ride home and be entertained. Hopefully!
  18. #98  
    Two guys walk into a bar, you would think one of them would have ducked.

    Two cannibals and a clown, one looks to the other and asks "Does this taste funny to you?"
    I am no longer a part of the Pre Central Community.
  19.    #99  
    There was an old man who was married to a very young woman.

    The old man was at the doctors for a checkup and the doctor said, "Sir today I will need a sperm sample, urine sample and a stool sample".

    The old man looks at his young wife and says, " What did he say"?

    His wife replies, "He needs a pair of your underwear."
  20. #100  
    A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

    The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
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