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  1.    #41  
    Quote Originally Posted by zx600 View Post
    Ohh, I didn't realise you were of the female persuation lol, I guess my ex was right, I just don't pay attention ......
    Her username is mom2ninjas.
    What exactly didja think she was?
    lol
  2. #42  
    Quote Originally Posted by dbd View Post
    Her username is mom2ninjas.
    What exactly didja think she was?
    lol
    Quote Originally Posted by zx600 View Post
    I just don't pay attention

    Now you did it, you got me quoting myself!!!!!!
  3.    #43  
    Quote Originally Posted by zx600 View Post
    Now you did it, you got me quoting myself!!!!!!
    I think that's the first time i've seen somebody do that since i've been here, lol.
  4. #44  
    Quote Originally Posted by dbd View Post
    I think that the last part of #3 is very very important.
    Amen Brotha! My wife loves it. In fact if I don't do it for a couple days, she notices it and asks if everything is ok.
  5.    #45  
    [;2231482]Amen Brotha! My wife loves it. In fact if I don't do it for a couple days, she notices it and asks if everything is ok.
    Hahaha, that's funny.
  6. Micael's Avatar
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    #46  
    Quote Originally Posted by Bujin View Post
    During a conflict resolution session, the instructor discussed that men engage in "report talk" (to inform or solve a problem), while women engage in "rapport talk" (to build relationships). The big mistake men make, when women talk about issues & problems, is to suggest solutions. Women frequently don't talk about issues or problems because they want the man to solve them, but rather because they want the man to understand.

    It's hard to do, because we're hard-wired to be problem-solvers, but try just listen & show empathy & I bet it'll lead to more positive conversations.
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    The Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  7. #47  
    Quote Originally Posted by Micael View Post
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    What if the issue is with family? They can't always talk to mom or sister about it if it's about family. They could talk to their friends, but what if they just got off the phone with "the issue" and you're there? Gotta listen. What has helped me is to help my wife understand that I am a problem solver and I naturally have that tendency. Women, like men, don't understand that we are problem solvers. They don't understand men anymore than we understand women. So when my wife comes to me with a problem, she reminds me that she doesn't want me to solve this issue, but I should just listen because she just needs someone she loves to talk to. Sometimes I ask if she wants any ideas, but thats it. Other times she asks for help to resolve an issue and that's when I can step up to the plate and do my thing. Communication and understanding is key. We can't assume we know what each other wants.
  8. #48  
    Quote Originally Posted by Micael View Post
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    Because it is a lot more fun and comforting to have the guy to love us thru it.

    We call our moms and sisters when we are complaining about the guy. LOL
    Aka: NinjaMom
    www.ppcgeeks.com
    PPC6600>PPC6700>HTC Touch>Touch Pro>Palm Pre
  9. groovy's Avatar
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    #49  
    Quote Originally Posted by Micael View Post
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    I'm admire your resolve, Micael, but somehow the term "spitting in the wind" comes to mind.
  10. #50  
    Of course. Only a Palm geek would seek relationship advice through a smartphone forum. No offense dbd.

    My wife is a big time planner, so monthly planning meetings worked like a charm (my idea).

    Agenda
    1) Compare calendars
    2) Review budget
    3) Misc.
    Visor-->Visor Phone-->Treo 180-->Treo 270-->Treo 600-->Treo 650-->Treo 700P-->Treo 755P-->Centro-->Pre+-->Pre 2
  11.    #51  
    Quote Originally Posted by pdxtreo View Post
    Of course. Only a Palm geek would seek relationship advice through a smartphone forum. No offense dbd.

    My wife is a big time planner, so monthly planning meetings worked like a charm (my idea).

    Agenda
    1) Compare calendars
    2) Review budget
    3) Misc.
    No offense taken,
    Believe it or not, this is the only forum that i've ever been a part of.
    I asked the question here because after all the interaction i've had with all of you over the last few months, i feel like i know most of you.
  12. #52  
    Quote Originally Posted by Micael View Post
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    I am personally incapable of providing anything more than a blank stare and anything less than a solution when she complains. I am not the venue for complaints without resolve! I cant sympathize or empathize. That is why I tell her to pick up the phone and dial her mom or one of her friends, because they will undoubtedly do those things and probably tell her what she wants to hear.

    Now, dont get me wrong...I can talk about many things...the budget, future plans, even have a religious or moral discussion about things...but when it comes to problems, you have to respect and deal with them accordingly. Dont go to a mechanic if all you want is to complain how you were late to work today because of a flat tire! Nothing can change the past, and complaining wont change the future.
  13. #53  
  14. #54  
    Hey Danny. I wish I could offer you some pithy words that would explain us women, but I can't. I've always thought more like a guy (albeit an empathetic one) and don't really understand how most women think, either. Most of my friends are men (and it can be frustrating sometimes to always be viewed as one of the guys). In my entire life (in my 40's) I have had four close female friends, and all of them think like me. A lot of women think in ways I will never understand, and play games for reasons I don't get. Problem with being one of the guys is that most women hate/fear you 'cause you are comfortable with men, and most men don't view you as girlfriend/wife material 'cause you are "one of them."

    I think that a lot of the more thoughtful replies are correct, though. Men and women just have to try to respect each other's ways of communicating and accept that they will be different. I am single, but could never be in a relationship where the only recourse for keeping the peace was "yes, dear" etc. Aren't both systems of communication equally valid? Don't they both contrbute to a stable partnership? (I am not discounting the love part of a relationship, but since this discussion is about communication...)

    Anyway, now that I've rambled on (maybe I'm more like other women than I thought lol), I hope you aren't spending too many nights on the couch.
    Blaize, Mistress of Verbosity



    Be nice until it's time to not be nice.--Dalton, "Roadhouse"
  15.    #55  
    Quote Originally Posted by Blaize View Post
    Hey Danny. I wish I could offer you some pithy words that would explain us women, but I can't. I've always thought more like a guy (albeit an empathetic one) and don't really understand how most women think, either. Most of my friends are men (and it can be frustrating sometimes to always be viewed as one of the guys). In my entire life (in my 40's) I have had four close female friends, and all of them think like me. A lot of women think in ways I will never understand, and play games for reasons I don't get. Problem with being one of the guys is that most women hate/fear you 'cause you are comfortable with men, and most men don't view you as girlfriend/wife material 'cause you are "one of them."

    I think that a lot of the more thoughtful replies are correct, though. Men and women just have to try to respect each other's ways of communicating and accept that they will be different. I am single, but could never be in a relationship where the only recourse for keeping the peace was "yes, dear" etc. Aren't both systems of communication equally valid? Don't they both contrbute to a stable partnership? (I am not discounting the love part of a relationship, but since this discussion is about communication...)

    Anyway, now that I've rambled on (maybe I'm more like other women than I thought lol), I hope you aren't spending too many nights on the couch.
    Lol, nah, things have been okay lately.
    I was actually wondering what was taking you so long to get to this thread though, lol.
    Thanks for checking it out.
    Last edited by dbdoinit; 02/19/2010 at 08:14 AM.
  16. #56  
    I envy all of you who have found love, even if things are not always candy and roses, so to speak.

    I've always had so much difficulty breaking the ice with new people, and have had such poor luck when I do (the few women I connect with being already in relationships, or being completely insane is a particular curse of mine) that I'm into my 30s and still single. Lately I've started to look back and realize that even though I'm single, the times when I haven't actively been looking have been happy times. So I've become resigned to the fact that I will probably remain single, but should get out there and travel, spend time with friends, see the world and have as much damn fun as I can while I'm still young enough to have it.

    Am I making the right choice? I sometimes wonder.
  17. #57  
    Quote Originally Posted by Micael View Post
    But why is it up to us? Why can't they wait until they want a problem solved before they bring it up? If they want understanding without resolution, they can always call their mothers or sisters.
    Because, as annoying as we may find it, we want to make our significant other happy. And, while I can only speak for Mrs. Buj & I, she pits up with things from me (workaholism, cell phone obsession come to mind) so listening once in awhile doesn't seem such a big price to pay.
  18. #58  
    This woman thinks like a cow....give up dbd, give up.
    Last edited by ryleyinstl; 02/19/2010 at 09:27 AM.
  19.    #59  
    Quote Originally Posted by zorinlynx View Post
    I envy all of you who have found love, even if things are not always candy and roses, so to speak.

    I've always had so much difficulty breaking the ice with new people, and have had such poor luck when I do (the few women I connect with being already in relationships, or being completely insane is a particular curse of mine) that I'm into my 30s and still single. Lately I've started to look back and realize that even though I'm single, the times when I haven't actively been looking have been happy times. So I've become resigned to the fact that I will probably remain single, but should get out there and travel, spend time with friends, see the world and have as much damn fun as I can while I'm still young enough to have it.

    Am I making the right choice? I sometimes wonder.
    Read what i wrote to knobbysideup.
    ENJOY the free time you have for yourself while you still have it, because you will never have it again once you settle down with someone.
    Don't worry about finding it. It'll show up one day when you're not expecting it. That's how it happened to me, and i'm sure plenty of others.
    The MAIN THING is NOT to settle on somebody just because you think it's taking too long.
  20. #60  
    Quote Originally Posted by dbd View Post
    Read what i wrote to knobbysideup.
    ENJOY the free time you have for yourself while you still have it, because you will never have it again once you settle down with someone.
    Don't worry about finding it. It'll show up one day when you're not expecting it. That's how it happened to me, and i'm sure plenty of others.
    The MAIN THING is NOT to settle on somebody just because you think it's taking too long.
    This reminds me of waiting for the 1.4.x update.
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