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  1.    #1  
    Hawkins and Dubinsky Succeed Where U.S. Armed Forced Fail

    Kabul – Videotape recently discovered by American forces in Afghanistan apparently shows Osama Bin Laden distraught upon hearing news that Handspring is planning to exit the market for Personal Digital Assistants (PDAs).

    Bin Laden has apparently relied upon Handspring products to keep in touch with his global Al-Quada terror network. Aided by a combination of Visorphones and the Internet-based Avantgo online service, the rogue leader has continually stymied U.S. efforts to bring him to justice.

    The videotape shows Bin Laden, for the first time pale and wan, visibly shaken by the Handspring announcement. Early translations of the tape disclose a conversation between the Islamic extremist and a high ranking official of the now-deposed Taliban government. “We should have known when Staples started offering the $20 rebate on the Memplug [accessory product that allows for memory expansion using Handspring’s patented Springboard module] that something was wrong.” Bin Laden is heard to exclaim on the tape.

    Clearly, Bin Laden and his Al-Quada network have a choice: They can continue their attempts to mount a global terror campaign using obsolete technology, or transition to an alternative platform. As Bin Laden and Al-Quada weigh their options, Pentagon experts are carefully considering the implications of a platform change by their terrorist nemesis. According to one Pentagon insider “We would like to see them move to a Pocket PC product. Historically Microsoft products have been easier to hack [gain access to by a third party for surveillance purposes]”. He went on to say “Frankly, this gives us a little breathing room. This announcement has thrown a monkey-wrench into Al-Quada’s plans and gives us extra time to hunt them down.”

    Also found recovered along with the videotape was a cache of Springboard modules packed with C-4 explosive. According to unnamed sources the quantity of explosive was not enough to bring down an airliner, but would make a gruesome mess of the martyred extremist throughout the plane’s interior.

    TOMMOROW: INTERVIEW WITH AFGAN TECHNOLOGY MINISTER I-PAQ FORSURE
  2. #2  
    >Also found recovered along with the videotape was a cache of Springboard modules packed with C-4 explosive. According to unnamed sources the quantity of explosive was not enough to bring down an airliner, but would make a gruesome mess of the martyred extremist throughout the plane’s interior. <

    ...thats just freaken wrong man, and its definatly not funny.
  3. #3  
    Originally posted by Drakion
    ...thats just freaken wrong man, and its definatly not funny.
    Actually, 'twas hilarious.

    And, because I'm a p**** and it irritated me,
    • it's it's, not its
    • de-finite-ly
    • freaking, phreaking, friggin

    English sucks, but it's all we've got.
    -Joshua
    I've decided to become enigmatic.
  4. #4  
    ****,

    You ought to post that article on The Onion. Thanks,
    The following space intentionally left blank...

    RadarGreg
  5. #5  
    Originally posted by RadarGreg
    ****,

    You ought to post that article on The Onion. Thanks,
    Love to, but I'm not a writer for them.
    -Joshua
    I've decided to become enigmatic.
  6. #6  
    moving to Off topic...

    Keefer, keep in mind this is a sensitive subject to a lot of people....
    I agree the union would be a better place for it...
    <IMG WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="50" SRC=http://www.visorcentral.com/images/visorcentral.gif> (ex)VisorCentral Discussion Moderator
    Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
  7. #7  
    "Keefer, keep in mind this is a sensitive subject to a lot of people.... "

    Yes, it it. As someone who actually knew several people who died in the towers I should be appalled, but I'm not. Black humor is an accepted way to work through grief.
    Thanks for the laugh Keefer.

    PS the Onion did a great radio newsflash on extremist Balsamic fanatics who bombed the Hidden Valley Salad Dressing compound. Very funny.
    "I am a debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish."
  8. #8  
    Originally posted by BobbyMike
    "Keefer, keep in mind this is a sensitive subject to a lot of people.... "

    Yes, it it. As someone who actually knew several people who died in the towers I should be appalled, but I'm not. Black humor is an accepted way to work through grief.
    Thanks for the laugh Keefer.
    This is why I moved it to OT and not delete/close it...
    I put the remark in so the next topic does not go too far...
    Some people are easier offended than others... try to be carefull of other peoples feelings...

    (darn I'm starting to sound like my father )
    <IMG WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="50" SRC=http://www.visorcentral.com/images/visorcentral.gif> (ex)VisorCentral Discussion Moderator
    Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
  9. #9  
    Originally posted by ToolkiT
    (darn I'm starting to sound like my father )
    Way to go, Dad!!!
    .
    .....
    MarkEagle
    .....<a href="http://discussion.treocentral.com/tcforum/index.php?s=">TreoCentral</a> | <a href="http://discussion.visorcentral.com/vcforum/index.php?s=">VisorCentral</a> Forum Moderator - Forum Guidelines
    .....Sprint PCS Treo 650
    .....God bless America, my home sweet home...
  10.    #10  
    Originally posted by ToolkiT

    I put the remark in so the next topic does not go too far...
    Some people are easier offended than others... try to be carefull of other peoples feelings...
    I have a second grade report card that says "I am concerned that [Keefer] shows a lack of respect for the feelings of others."

    My brother actually watched both the first and the second planes hit the towers from his Mid-Town office. He called my mother before the second plane hit and told her "a plane just flew into the World Trade Center". Harrowing.

    Part of the reason for the black humor injection is the overwhelming breadth of the recent Dubinsky announcement. It has permeated almost every discussion string, every topic heading and subheading. There are several strings that I would really like to divorce myself from, as I no longer even bother to follow them.

    Visorcentral is my favorite site that doesn't include copious quantities of gratuitious nudity. I am already wandering away from it as the entire discussion platform has become overwhelmed by this singular issue, with the same points hammered over and over again, often times incongruous to the topic which the string relates to.

    I will show comic restraint but suggest that "Team Visorcentral" needs a plan.
  11. #11  
    I should have known that your carefully crafted back humor actually had a secret, politically charged, motivation.
    Too bad I haven't bothered being bothered by the brouhaha at all.
    "I am a debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish."
  12. #12  
    Originally posted by BobbyMike
    I should have known that your carefully crafted back humor actually had a secret, politically charged, motivation.
    Too bad I haven't bothered being bothered by the brouhaha at all.
    There was a brouhaha? Where? I don't believe you.
    ‎"Is that suck and salvage the Kevin Costner method?" - Chris Matthews on Hardball, July 6, 2010. Wonder if he's talking about his oil device or his movie career...
  13. #13  
    "There was a brouhaha? Where? I don't believe you."

    I admit it, I was just passing on idle gossip overheard at the VC watercooler. I apologize.
    "I am a debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish."
  14. #14  
    Originally posted by Keefer Lucas


    I have a second grade report card that says "I am concerned that [Keefer] shows a lack of respect for the feelings of others."

    My brother actually watched both the first and the second planes hit the towers from his Mid-Town office. He called my mother before the second plane hit and told her "a plane just flew into the World Trade Center". Harrowing.

    Part of the reason for the black humor injection is the overwhelming breadth of the recent Dubinsky announcement. It has permeated almost every discussion string, every topic heading and subheading. There are several strings that I would really like to divorce myself from, as I no longer even bother to follow them.

    Visorcentral is my favorite site that doesn't include copious quantities of gratuitious nudity. I am already wandering away from it as the entire discussion platform has become overwhelmed by this singular issue, with the same points hammered over and over again, often times incongruous to the topic which the string relates to.

    I will show comic restraint but suggest that "Team Visorcentral" needs a plan.
    [off the record] I like black humor as much as you do, but as a mod I have to point these things out... I hate being PC as much as you do... but as a mod I have the moral obligation to make sure things don't get out of hand.... darn remind me why I volunteered....
    [/off the record]
    <IMG WIDTH="200" HEIGHT="50" SRC=http://www.visorcentral.com/images/visorcentral.gif> (ex)VisorCentral Discussion Moderator
    Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

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