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  1.    #1  
    From Wire Service Accounts

    Death Prompts Widow to Ask "Have Hawkins and Dubinsky Gone Too Far?"

    A suicide note left behind by a New Jersey office worker cites Handspring's recent decision to "...build a leadership position in the emerging market for handheld communicators" while conceptually moving away from the traditional organizer market as the "final straw" in his decision to leap from a busy highway overpass to the pavement twenty feet below.

    The note, which was recovered by forensics experts, was found on the deceased's Visor Deluxe which miraculously survived both the fall and being struck several times during heavy rush hour traffic.

    According to his widow "He just didn't see any future for Handspring in the highly competitive GSM spectrum" She went on to say that "His Visor Deluxe (Ice) changed his life, and he couldn't bear the thought that Handspring would abandon both the PDA line and the Ice color scheme in the same month."

    According to New Jersey State Police this is the first incident directly linked to Handspring's recent announcement, though there has been a noticeable rise in PDA-related accidents on the highway.

    Tomorrow: Should PDA Use in Automobiles be Banned?
    Last edited by Keefer Lucas; 01/23/2002 at 08:57 PM.
  2. #2  
    Can YOUR Palm do that?
  3. #3  
  4. #4  
    I hope that this is not true cuz its funny!
  5. #5  
    Bravo! Very clever - I needed a chuckle to start my day!
    - Don -
    "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"
  6. #6  
    Can I have his Visor Deluxe?
  7. #7  
    I believe all of it except the part about the Visor surviving the fall.
  8. #8  
    Absolutely brilliant. I can't wait for tomorrow's next installment
    Palm and PocketPC Development with CASL (make your own Treo apps, easily)
    CASL is here
    LibertyControl is here
    or visit WAGWARE Systems, Inc. here
  9. #9  
    ROFLMAO!!!
  10. #10  
    Oh my God! I just found this on Reuters web site!

    Handspring announces death of Visor line as stunned street mimes look on:

    In what came as a complete surprise to many analysts and stock watchers, Handspring announced today they will be exiting the organizer market while transitioning to communicator based products. The news came as an even greater surprise to a group of local street mimes who often perform in front of the company's Fremont headquarters to entertain passing employees. One spectator described the scene..."They just stood their completely silent. They didn't say a word. But then things turned ugly. First they started painting tear drops running down their faces, and pretended to weep over an invisible grave." The witness then goes on to describe an even more shocking scene:..."At this point they really got out of control. I guess their sadness turned to anger because they took out their Visors and pretended to use them for rectal suppositories. One of them even stuck his stylus down his pants and began dancing wildly, while another mime used his stylus to write MURDER in graffiti on the side of the building. It was horrible!".

    Police were dispatched to the scene and immediately "pretended" to fire invisible tear gas at the mimes, who then vacated the scene and are still on the loose. Police warn the public that if you see any mimes in the Fremont area who look suspicious, contact your local law enforcement office immediately. Do not approach them as they are armed with styli.


    Wow! Scary stuff!
    Last edited by foo fighter; 01/24/2002 at 04:18 PM.
  11. #11  
    *double post*
  12. #12  
    Originally posted by foo fighter
    [...] Police warn the public that if you see any mimes in the Fremont area who look suspicious, contact your local law enforcement office immediately.
    Personally, I think that all mimes look suspicious.
    Do not approach them as they are armed with styli. [...]
    Yeah, but are they 'assault styli'?
    ‎"Is that suck and salvage the Kevin Costner method?" - Chris Matthews on Hardball, July 6, 2010. Wonder if he's talking about his oil device or his movie career...
  13. #13  
    Originally posted by Toby
    Personally, I think that all mimes look suspicious.
    That was part of the joke, Toby!
  14. #14  
    Originally posted by Toby
    Yeah, but are they 'assault styli'?
    Actually, the Pentopia has a metal reset pin that looks like it could be used for other purposes. I had best register it with the federal government.
  15. #15  
    Originally posted by dietrichbohn

    Actually, the Pentopia has a metal reset pin that looks like it could be used for other purposes. I had best register it with the federal government.
    Actually they are semi-automatic styli just painted to look "bad."
    Did you just go near a burning hot river of lava or are you just happy to see me?
  16. #16  
    Let's not be silly.
    -Joshua
    I've decided to become enigmatic.
  17. #17  
    Originally posted by ****-richardson
    Let's not be silly.
    Yes, let us not be silly. Lettuce Leaf.

    *sigh*...next story!

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