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  1.    #1  
    I was digging through some of my old documents trying to clean up some space and came across this. Got it several years ago, but thought some folks might enjoy it. It is a bit long, but I enjoy it.

    Subject: The day God made police officers

    When the LORD was creating police officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And the LORD said, "Have you read the spec on this order?" "A police officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform." "He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day long on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pair of hands."

    The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands...no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems, said the LORD, it's the three pair of eyes an officer has to have."
    "That's the standard model? asked the angel. The LORD nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in the pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in their sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job), another pair here in the side of his head for his partners safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleed victim and say, "You'll be all right ma'am", when he knows it isn't so."

    "LORD", said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."

    I can't," said the LORD, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."

    The angel circled the model very slowly. "Can it think?" she asked.
    "You bet," said the LORD, "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in it's sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop...and still it keeps it's sense of humor."

    "This officer has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read it in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."

    Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much on this model."
    "That's not a leak," said the LORD, "It's a tear."
    "What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
    "It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American Flag, for justice."
    "You're a genius," said the angel.
    The LORD looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.

    Lt. Col. Jim Marchand
    Chief, Security Forces
    "Defenders Committed to World-Class Force Protection"
    In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. JOHN 14:2
  2. #2  
    I thought police officers were a man-made creation when we finally figured out how civilization worked.
    We're all naked if you turn us inside out.
    -David Byrne
  3. #3  
    Why would a guy have 5 kids if it's beyond his means?

    Base salary for a cop in my area is around 60,000 per year. This does not include overtime. However, overtime is included in retirement packages allowing most cops to retire with close to their actual gross income. None of the cops I've seen recently have appeared to be thin so one must contemplate how large the meal was even though it was "half-eaten".



    I also note the subtext of racism, sexism, anti-constitutionality, and self-pity that runs through the "essay".



    I know many police officers. Most of them do a great job but there is no need to post sentimental bushwa about them.
    When I get a little money I buy books; if any is left, I buy food and clothes.
  4.    #4  
    Originally posted by Potus
    Why would a guy have 5 kids if it's beyond his means?

    Base salary for a cop in my area is around 60,000 per year. This does not include overtime. However, overtime is included in retirement packages allowing most cops to retire with close to their actual gross income. None of the cops I've seen recently have appeared to be thin so one must contemplate how large the meal was even though it was "half-eaten".

    I also note the subtext of racism, sexism, anti-constitutionality, and self-pity that runs through the "essay".

    I know many police officers. Most of them do a great job but there is no need to post sentimental bushwa about them.
    Not sure where you live, but I see plenty of people with multiple children when it is beyond their means.

    Base salary for an officer where I live is around $35,000.00 per year. I have no idea if it includes overtime or not, and really do not care. I also know nothing of their retirement. As for their size, I have seen plenty of officers in great physical condition. I have also seen plenty who weren't. I imagine it has a lot to do with eating junk food on the go and riding around in a car all day, regardless of meal size, that would make anyone heavy.

    If you see racism, sexism, etc., then maybe you are reading more into it than I am. I see a story written by a Policeman who is proud of what he is, and proud of his fellow officers.

    I also know many police officers. Some are great, some are on ego trips, and some just love to do nothing. Regardless, everytime they pull someone over the odds of dying increases. Whether on the job, or off, they put their life on the line. Not all of them are great men, not all of them are honest, but all of them stand a greater chance of dying on the job than I do. That is why I posted this. I just thought others might share my view and enjoy it. If not, that's okay as well.
    In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. JOHN 14:2
  5. #5  
    Originally posted by Potus

    I know many police officers. Most of them do a great job but there is no need to post sentimental bushwa about them.
    I too tire of lionizing individuals who are typically well paid to do their jobs. I tire of stories of officers who double their salaries with overtime on cushy assignments. I tire of stories about work rotations that are downright silly (twenty hour work weeks in my community, based on three days on, three days off, three days on followed by a full seven day "recovery" period).

    I am more than willing to recognize those who perform in harms way as heros. But I suggest we save the canonizations until after-the-fact.

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