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  1.    #1  
    His or her voice has the ability to peel paint.

    He or She or it has the mental agility of a small soap dish.

    His or Her face causes a constant threat to the continued functioning of clocks and cameras.

    Regarding his or her physiognomy, because it occupies a position on the front of his or her head, it must be a face.

    If fashion law were ever enforced, he or she would face a life sentence without any hope of parole.

    Of his or her lineage, females of the canine species predominate.


    These are your curses to use for today, you pathetic, cringing, little milksop.
  2. #2  
    A good frame of mind... but no picture.

    A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.

    He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.

    He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

    He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

    He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

    His signal-to-noise ratio is epsilon.

    Put a lens in each ear and you've got a telescope.
    --
    SURREAL SAGE SEZ: Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
  3. #3  
    The wheel is spinning but the Hamster's dead. (Does Gerbil sound funnier?)

    He has the problem solving ability of William Gates.

    He has the intelligence of someone who insults bblue.


    Um... I can't think of any more right now...
    <b><font size=1 color=teal>"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"
  4. #4  
    Originally posted by bblue
    The wheel is spinning but the Hamster's dead. (Does Gerbil sound funnier?)
    The blue lights are on, but nobody's home.

    He has the problem solving ability of William Gates.
    Which one?

    He has the intelligence of someone who insults bblue.
    Could be worse. "He has the intelligence of bblue."

    Now, do these become less insulting if one claims to be joking?
    ‎"Is that suck and salvage the Kevin Costner method?" - Chris Matthews on Hardball, July 6, 2010. Wonder if he's talking about his oil device or his movie career...
  5. #5  
    Has an infinite talent to screw up.

    Wouldn't know the back of his hand if you smacked him with it.

    Shows a great deal of promise as a prison occupant.

    Could go far, and we hope she does, from here.

    Aspires to competancy.

    Should hire an assistant to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
    The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.
  6. #6  
    he/she's a perfect ad for zero population growth.

    dumb as a box of hammers (my favorite)

    a couple carrots short of a salad...
  7. #7  
    Credit where credit's due... that's from a classic National Lampoon's recording. There's a great boxed set out there (there used to be, anyway) with some if not all of the old National Lampoons records - including several of Christopher Guest's 'Mister Roberts' Neighborhood' bits.

    Be sure also to check out the Christopher Walken Joke Line at http://www.magnetic-media.com/brandm...enjokeline.ram



    -Andy


    Originally posted by BudPritchard
    His or her voice has the ability to peel paint.

    He or She or it has the mental agility of a small soap dish.

    His or Her face causes a constant threat to the continued functioning of clocks and cameras.

    Regarding his or her physiognomy, because it occupies a position on the front of his or her head, it must be a face.

    If fashion law were ever enforced, he or she would face a life sentence without any hope of parole.

    Of his or her lineage, females of the canine species predominate.


    These are your curses to use for today, you pathetic, cringing, little milksop.
  8. #8  
    No one can say it quite like the Bard:
    http://alabanza.com/kabacoff/Inter-Links/cgi/bard.cgi
    --
    ThirdMan
  9. #9  
    This is why I have "Zounds!" on my Visor.
    Thanks for the link!
    The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.
  10. #10  
    Thanks for the tip on Zounds! Oh, this is an insult thread, so:

    All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that so many people are to blame for producing you.

    Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

    Have you considered suing your brains for nonsupport?

    He is depriving a village somewhere of an *****.

    He's got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.

    You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.

    (no insult intended, of course... )
    --
    ThirdMan
  11. #11  
    Your feet smell of overripened avocados in a 2nd class garlic sauce.
    -Vincent
  12. #12  
    Strong like bull, smart like streetcar.
  13. #13  
    See the difference it makes when you add "j/k" or or at the end?

    Here's one I didn't make up:

    "His head was like a hollow putty ball attacked by several pointy dust bunnies"
    <b><font size=1 color=teal>"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"
  14. #14  
    Originally posted by Usonian
    <snipe> Be sure also to check out the Christopher Walken Joke Line at http://www.magnetic-media.com/brandm...enjokeline.ram
    <snipe>
    I didn't get no C.W. from the link, but I'm at work and they could have screwed w/the access.
    Anyway, my favorite line of his is kind of an anti-insult --the comeback to Johnny Depp's line in "Nick of Time":
    Depp: "You're insane!"
    Walken: (Waits a few beats) "....What's your point?"

    Sadly, the movie's a bit of a dog, tho.

    They kind of ripped it off for John Travolta only a few mo. later (aren't you supposed to wait at least 1 yr. before you plagiarize?) for John Woo's "Broken Arrow" w/JT & Christian Slater:
    Slater: "You're insane!"
    Travolta: "Yeah, ain't it cool?"
    (Not really. And, not holding a candle to Walken's line, eh, JT? And, it'd be a lot cooler if it was a lot more orig.)

    Sadly, it's a much better movie than "Nick of Time," tho.

    Awright; end-of-rant....
    "Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds." -- Albert Einstein
  15. #15  
    Originally posted by bkbk
    ... Johnny Depp's line in "Nick of Time":
    Depp: "You're insane!"
    Walken: (Waits a few beats) "....What's your point?"

    Sadly, the movie's a bit of a dog, tho.

    They kind of ripped it off for John Travolta only a few mo. later (aren't you supposed to wait at least 1 yr. before you plagiarize?) for John Woo's "Broken Arrow" w/JT & Christian Slater:
    ...
    Sadly, it's a much better movie than "Nick of Time," tho.

    Awright; end-of-rant....
    Since these films are from different studios (I checked the IMDb) and came out within scant months of one another, I expect that were in production at or close to the same time, and specific phrases in each script would have been unknown to the different crews.

    Personal opinion, Broken Arrow was big, loud, and dumb; Nick of Time was small, frantic and suspenseful. Plus Broken Arrow's title has nothing to do with the movie.

    I doubt there are any rules for plagiarism, until you get caught.
    The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.
  16. #16  
    Originally posted by Yorick
    Since these films are from different studios (I checked the IMDb) and came out within scant months of one another, I expect that were in production at or close to the same time, and specific phrases in each script would have been unknown to the different crews.
    Somehow I doubt if _either_ movie was the first to use that.

    Personal opinion, Broken Arrow was big, loud, and dumb; Nick of Time was small, frantic and suspenseful. Plus Broken Arrow's title has nothing to do with the movie.
    Sure it did. "Broken arrow" was the military's code name for a lost nuclear weapon in the movie.
    ‎"Is that suck and salvage the Kevin Costner method?" - Chris Matthews on Hardball, July 6, 2010. Wonder if he's talking about his oil device or his movie career...
  17.    #17  
    Originally posted by Usonian
    Credit where credit's due... that's from a classic National Lampoon's recording. There's a great boxed set out there (there used to be, anyway) with some if not all of the old National Lampoons records - including several of Christopher Guest's 'Mister Roberts' Neighborhood' bits.

    Be sure also to check out the Christopher Walken Joke Line at http://www.magnetic-media.com/brandm...enjokeline.ram



    -Andy


    Was wondering if somebody would recognize the source.
    Nat Lamp was one of my favorite mags.
    Especially their 1964 High School Year book. Same year I graduated. Brought back fond memories.
  18. #18  
    Originally posted by Toby
    Somehow I doubt if _either_ movie was the first to use that.
    aye. Wasn't it in "Batman"?


    Sure it did. "Broken arrow" was the military's code name for a lost nuclear weapon in the movie.
    It was misused. Broken Arrow usually refers to the accidental detonation of a nuclear device.

    I knew this from past experience with military terminology, and it was noted in the IMDb entry.

    further research (to back myself up) led me to this:
    http://www.scifig.com/milnet/nukacci.htm
    About halfway down is a gray box of military code-phrases related to nuclear weapons; Broken Arrow has multiple meanings including both "The accidental or unauthorized detonation, or possible detonation of a nuclear weapon (other than war risk)" and "Seizure, theft, or loss of a nuclear weapon or component"
    so we are both correct.
    The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.
  19. #19  
    Originally posted by Yorick
    It was misused. [...]
    Quite possible, but not what I was addressing. I was only saying that the phrase "broken arrow" was used in the movie, hence the title did have to do with the movie, in the context in which they used it. I'm not surprised at all that they misused it. Movies screw things up like that all the time. One of my favorites of all time is from Die Hard 2 where McClane goes into his rant about the "Glock 7", a non-existent, German-made, porcelain handgun which can magically get past airport security and costs more than an airport head of security makes in a month. I'm glad that the first time I saw it was on video or I'd not have been able to rewind to see the parts I missed due to hysterical laughing from how wrong they got it (and that's not even getting into the PacBell payphones installed in a "D.C." airport).

    In case you're wondering, there is no Glock model 7 (they probably were told 17 and either the script writer or Willis got it wrong). Glocks have _polymer_ components (except for the parts that have to be metal). They're actually based in Austria (IIRC, their American branch is based in Georgia). There's enough metal in just the barrel to set off most metal detectors (in addition to the metal laced into the polymer stock). Finally, I'd feel extreme pity for a chief of airport security who makes less than $500-700 dollars a month.
    ‎"Is that suck and salvage the Kevin Costner method?" - Chris Matthews on Hardball, July 6, 2010. Wonder if he's talking about his oil device or his movie career...
  20. #20  
    Originally posted by Toby
    Quite possible, but not what I was addressing. I was only saying that the phrase "broken arrow" was used in the movie, hence the title did have to do with the movie, in the context in which they used it.
    hmm, don't recall, perhaps I should see it again ...
    NAH! (I didn't like it much the first time!)
    thanks for clarifying
    The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.
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