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  1. #61  
    Shmoopy!
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  2. #62  
    No, you're schmoopy.
  3. #63  
    All right, shmoopies...what's it gonna be? Pick a theater.
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  4. #64  
    Another classic...


    George: I saw a drain! I had to go!!!

    Elaine: Different drains go different places!! You're gonna get them mixed up!!!

    George: I'll call a plumber RIGHT now!!!!
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  5. #65  
    And another...

    Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.

    Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?

    Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.

    Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.

    Agent: I know why we have reservations.

    Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
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    #66  
    "What kind of a person are you?"
    "I think I'm pretty much like you -- only successful."

    - George and Jerry, in "The Old Man"
  7. #67  
    George: "I'm not taking a cab."

    Jerry: "I'll pay for it."

    George: "It's not the money."

    Jerry: "Well, what is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?"
  8. #68  
    Sallllsa!!!
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  9.    #69  
    George: Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the middle ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it.

    Jerry: They didn't have roommates in the middle ages.

    George:How do you know?

    Jerry: Well, for one thing, they didn't have apartments.

    George: Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were two women living together!
    Why are ringtones always such a big issue? Don't people realize that they're obnoxious!? And why the Nintendo 'Wii'? What th-!?
  10. #70  
    A Festivus for the rest of us!
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  11. #71  
    George: "I never thought I'd fail at failing."

    Jerry: "Oh come on now."

    George: "I can't do anything wrong."

    Jerry: "Nonsense. You do everything wrong."

    George: "Everything?"

    Jerry: "Everything."

    George: "You really think so?"

    Jerry: "Absolutely! I have no confidence in you."

    George: "Alright. I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again."

    Jerry: "That's the spirit! You suck!"
  12. vw2002's Avatar
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    #72  
    "If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer."

    - Kramer, in "The Handicapped Spot
  13. #73  
    Timmy: "Did you just double-dip that chip?"

    George: "Excuse me?"

    Timmy: "You double-dipped the chip."

    George: "Double-dipped? What are you talking about?"

    Timmy: "You dipped the chip, you took a bite, and you dipped again."

    George: "So?"

    Timmy: "That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip. Look, from now on when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it."

    George: "Well, I'm sorry Timmy, but I don't dip that way."

    Timmy: "Oh, you don't, huh?"

    George: "No. You dip the way you want to dip, I'll dip the way I want to dip."
  14. vw2002's Avatar
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    #74  
    Believe me, somewhere in this hospital the anguished oink of pig-man cries out for help."
    - Kramer, in "The Bris"

    "If I hear an anguished oink, I'm outta here."
    - Jerry, in "The Bris"
  15. #75  
    Jerry: Your back hurts because of your wallet. It's huge.
    George: This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.
    Jerry: Well, your friend is morbidly obese.
    George: Well, at least I don't carry a purse.
    Jerry: It's not a purse, it's European.

    ------------------------------
    Kramer: No, she was completely topless.
    George: How good of a look did you get?
    Jerry: What do you mean?
    George: Say she was a criminal and you had to describe her to the police...
    Jerry: They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.
    Iím a lucky man to count on both hands
    The ones I love..

    Visor Pro -> Visor Edge -> Treo 180 -> Treo 270 -> Treo 600 -> Treo 650 -> T|T2+SE T68i -> Treo 600 -> T-Mobile MDA -> Treo 755p -> Treo 800w -> Treo 755p -> PALM PRE -> Palm Pre 2 -> HP Palm Pre 3

    Twittering about
  16.    #76  
    Elaine: I feel like just walking over there and taking some food off of someone's plate.

    Jerry: I'll tell you what, there's 50 bucks in it for you if you do it.

    Elaine: Waddya mean?

    Jerry: You walk over to that table, you pick up and eggroll; you don't say anything, you eat it, say 'thank you very much', whipe your mouth, walk away, I give you 50 bucks.

    Elaine: Should I do it George?

    George: For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow!
    Why are ringtones always such a big issue? Don't people realize that they're obnoxious!? And why the Nintendo 'Wii'? What th-!?
  17. #77  
    "But, I don't want to be a pirate!"
    "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
    - Albert Einstein
  18. #78  
    Quote Originally Posted by ShannonElements
    News/rumor: Season 7 will be released in May, and seasons 8 and 9 will be released together in November. I can't wait that long!
    buy dvd's? Hello BitTorrent! I got HD rips of Seasons 7 8 and 9...

    Iím a lucky man to count on both hands
    The ones I love..

    Visor Pro -> Visor Edge -> Treo 180 -> Treo 270 -> Treo 600 -> Treo 650 -> T|T2+SE T68i -> Treo 600 -> T-Mobile MDA -> Treo 755p -> Treo 800w -> Treo 755p -> PALM PRE -> Palm Pre 2 -> HP Palm Pre 3

    Twittering about
  19. #79  
    Quote Originally Posted by ExtraOrdinaryJo
    Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
    I loved that one! Hey, who remember's Jerry's comeback for the telemarketer?
  20. #80  
    Quote Originally Posted by StrangeReaction
    Jerry: "That's the spirit! You suck!"
    Hehe, that was so funny I almost sharted.
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