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  1.    #1  
    WHY

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid *****?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

    Wisdom sheds light on the knowledge you have accumulated

    Palm Pre (Sprint)
  2. #2  
    Some of my other favorites:

    Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

    Why do irons have settings for "permanent" press ?

    Who don't they make wine out of raisins ? wouldn't have to wait for it to age.



    Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways ?
  3. #3  
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    WHY

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
    Maybe you do. My remote sometimes has sticky keys.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
    Because they told you they would when you signed up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
    Because they can.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
    Have you ever looked inside a bottle? It does.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
    So if they ***** themselves (the doctors), they won't die.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    He's fictional.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
    If you had a face like that, you wouldn't want it hurt either.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    To make sure they get to their final destination and don't miss due to head trauma.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
    Uh, read a biology book. You can't possibly not know that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
    They aren't. They're clear.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
    No. It's like suits at Joseph A Bank or Detroit autos.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
    They don't. They return thinking that maybe looking at the food will remind them they actually like something in there.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
    To avoid throwing it out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
    Mine do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
    They crawl.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid *****?"
    That would be rude. We've all been in the other person's place before.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
    I don't. You're clumsy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
    Because we were complaining about the heat outside, not inside. Listen next time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
    I don't listen to jokes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

    In addition to the book on evolution, check out a book on statistics.

    None of these questions were difficult. I'm sure you could have answered them if you put your head into it.
  4. #4  
    I actually enjoyed the humor in the original post......but really laughed at the literal take of the silly questions.
  5.    #5  
    In addition to the book on evolution, check out a book on statistics.

    None of these questions were difficult. I'm sure you could have answered them if you put your head into it.

    -KRamsauer
    I started to search but decided it would be easier to post.
    Wisdom sheds light on the knowledge you have accumulated

    Palm Pre (Sprint)
  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by Franko515
    I started to search but decided it would be easier to post.
    Hehehe, nice one. :-)

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