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  1. NRG
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    LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW A MARINE CORPS RECRUIT

    Dear Ma and Pa,

    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter,

    Gail
  2. cardio's Avatar
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    #2  
    Hilarious.
  3. #3  
    Another one

    A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia):

    A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought
    we (Americans) were a bunch
    of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing
    happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France. I told
    him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue
    in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their
    ingratitude and jealousy, was due to surface at some point in the near
    future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with a
    socialist economy and a bunch of wimps for soldiers.

    I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and
    action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support
    was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US
    would shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the
    French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way
    around.

    He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would
    like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat
    his **** in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus
    demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him
    than the average Frenchman.

    He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

    With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    Mary Beth Johnson LtCol, USMC
  4. #4  
    Quote Originally Posted by RicoM
    Another one

    A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia):

    A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought
    we (Americans) were a bunch
    of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing
    happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France. I told
    him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue
    in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, ...
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony!
    The American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), also known as the American War of Independence, was a war fought primarily between Great Britain and revolutionaries within thirteen British colonies in North America. The war began largely as a colonial revolt against the economic policies of the British Empire, and eventually widened far beyond British North America, with France, Spain, and the Netherlands entering the war against Great Britain. Additionally, many American Indians fought on both sides of the conflict.

    Throughout the war, the British were able to use their naval superiority to capture colonial coastal cities, but control of the countryside largely eluded them. French involvement proved decisive, with a naval victory in the Chesapeake leading to the surrender of a British army at the Battle of Yorktown in 1781
    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” (Philip K. ****)
  5. #5  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

    Yea, you know, France and the U.S. were really close for hundreds of years. What started all the frog bashing anyway?
  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony
    Yes. They were useful for something once about 230 years ago.
    Current: iPhone 3G
    Retired from active duty: Treo 800w, Sprint Touch, Mogul, Apache, Cingular Treo 650, HP iPaq 4350, T|T, M505 - Nokia 3650 - SE R520m, T610, T637, Moto P280, etc, etc...
  7. #7  
    Quote Originally Posted by daThomas
    What started all the frog bashing anyway?
    Very politically incorrect for someone of your advanced sensibilities, Thomas!
  8. #8  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony!
    Have to post this...I'm sure most people have already seen it, but it's just funny (don't mean to offend any frogs here)


    The complete Military History of France

    - Gallic Wars
    - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

    - Hundred Years War
    - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

    - Italian Wars
    - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    - Wars of Religion
    - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

    - Thirty Years War
    - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

    - War of Revolution
    - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

    - The Dutch War
    - Tied

    - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
    - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

    - War of the Spanish Succession
    - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

    - American Revolution
    - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

    - French Revolution
    - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

    - The Napoleonic Wars
    - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

    - The Franco-Prussian War
    - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    - World War I
    - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

    - World War II
    - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    - War in Indochina
    - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

    - Algerian Rebellion
    - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    - War on Terrorism
    - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
  9. #9  
    Hey, you guys know the rules...

    You can bash the US all you want, but do not ever, and they mean EVER say a bad thing about ANY European country on TC, else people get pissy.
    MaxiMunK.com The Forum That Asks, "Are You Not Entertained?"

    Remember: "Anyone that thinks the Treo should just work right out of the box, shouldn't own a Treo..."
  10. #10  
    Quote Originally Posted by phurth
    Yes. They were useful for something once about 230 years ago.
    Back when they mattered.
    I'm back!
  11. #11  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony!
    Not really, it just would've taken a few years longer, that's all.
    I'm back!
  12. #12  
    Quote Originally Posted by daThomas
    What started all the frog bashing anyway?
    Froggy Went A' Courtin'



    Froggy went a' courtin' and he did ride uh huh
    Froggy went a' courtin' and he did ride uh huh
    Froggy went a' courtin' and he did ride
    Sword and a pistol by his side Uh huh uh huh oh yeah.

    Well he rode up to Miss Mouse's door
    He knocked so hard that he made it roar

    Well he said to Miss Mousie Will you marry me?
    Oh Miss Mousie how I love thee"

    Where will the wedding supper be
    We'll get married in a Sycamore tree


    The Froggy Dance
    Well behaved women rarely make history
  13. #13  
    Quote Originally Posted by daThomas
    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

    Yea, you know, France and the U.S. were really close for hundreds of years. What started all the frog bashing anyway?
    Actually as soon as we won the Revolutionary War.

    Because of the long years of enmity between France and Britain, France's sole main purpose was to spite England, but whatever their self interest purposes were, their support proved to come at a vital time during the Revolutionary War. Even though Ben Franklin had to do some political tap dancing in Paris, the French did like the idea of fighting a war against England in a supporting role.

    It is important to also note that in addition to France, Spain, and the Netherlands entering the war against Great Britain in support roles as well..(actually Spain entered in support of France as not to directly have to confront England, and the Netherlands gave it a good try but failed most of the time and ultimately in the end)...all in an attempt to dilute Britain's emerging superpower status.

    It is also interesting to note that over the course of the war the British hired about 30,000 German mercenaries, popularly known in the colonies as "Hessians" because many of them came from Hesse. Germans would make up about one-third of the British troop strength in North America. By 1779, the number of British and German troops stationed in North America was over 60,000

    But here is a peek at what happend the day after it was declared that we won:

    When the war was over, the great problem remained to conclude the peace. The French politicians determined to make the American alliance turn in every way to their own advantage. When the news of the glorious alliance was made in early Spring, May 1778, which brought so much cheer and new faith to the officers and men alike, just as the new life of Spring was bringing green grass and bursting buds to the naked trees of Valley Forge, which was symbolical of the improved conditions of the American soldiers as they had suffered on the bleak hills of Valley Forge during the tragic winter.

    Now the war was over and there were those in power who thought they could use Franklin, the American alliance and the United States to their own advantage. The French politicians were opposed to a separate peace treaty for the United States, but they proposed to have a treaty in which American independence and sovereignty would be tied directly to the French treaty. And then they could hold the United States under their own direction.

    Franklin knew French politicians too well, and he resolved such conditions should not result. Franklin was courageous, bold and had a definite sense of vision plans in diplomacy. Consequently, he met the leaders of the British commission and secured a separate treaty with them. He secured just what he wanted for his country; namely, the absolute independence of the United States, recognition of it as a distinctive government, and at the same time the exact boundaries of the United States were generally established. Some of the American members were fearful lest all plans should be ruined, but not so Franklin.

    The French commission was furious and spoke unkindly to Franklin. Again undaunted, he met them and convinced them they could not hold the United States to their own plans; and thus he succeeded.

    http://www.ushistory.org/valleyforge.../franklin.html
    France’s hope to regain its territories in the United States (Nouvelle-France) after a hopeful win in the Revolutionary War was won by us was also lost. This also did not set well with France concerning the newly formed United States of America. The Louisiana Territory, under Spanish control since the end of the Seven Years' War, remained off-limits to settlement from the 13 American colonies. Following Napoleon Bonaparte's defeat of Spain, he took back the Louisiana Territory and in 1803 sold it to the new United States. This sale represented the end of the French colonial empire in North America except for the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon which it still controls to this day.
    Last edited by HobbesIsReal; 12/12/2005 at 12:42 PM.
  14. #14  
    BTW....NRG....I loved the story. I never even saw the punchline in the signature coming at all! Great post!
  15. #15  
    Quote Originally Posted by clulup
    Come on, face it, without the French you would still be a British colony!
    But, we don't have any obligation or moral debt to show any gratitude as it shouldn't matter much since they were in it for their own selfish gain (get back at England, hoping to get their American Colonies back, etc...)
  16. #16  
    Quote Originally Posted by HobbesIsReal
    But, we don't have any obligation or moral debt to show any gratitude as it shouldn't matter much since they were in it for their own selfish gain (get back at England, hoping to get their American Colonies back, etc...)
    Which was the point of another Clulup post in another thread, how France and the rest of Europe doesn't need to show the US any gratitude towards WWII, because according to him, we didn't liberate Europe for them, we did it for ourselves. And since it was for selfish reasons, they can act like the French do today, with selective memories about the recent past.
    I'm back!

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