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  • 2 Post By ksom
  • 3 Post By zealster
  1. ksom's Avatar
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       #1  
    I think today's decision by HP is probably not a surprise to the top Palm executives who left. So let me play out how HP bought Palm.

    Jon: We are out of money, please help.
    HP: Well, we are not interested in making phones
    Jon: But we have a really good OS for phones. Look at all the reviews
    HP: Interesting. But we are not interested in making phones
    Jon: Other companies are interested in acquiring us, <blank>, <blank>... See we have value, are you interested.
    HP: Ouch, Apple just released iPad. Windows 7 sucks on tablet.
    Jon: iPhone used their phone OS. We can port WebOS to a tablet
    HP: Oh. How can we help?
    Jon: We don't have enough money to last long. We need money. Please give us some cash.
    HP: hm... We don't like to give out money. Let me see, you have a good OS and a lot of patent and other IPs. We will buy you.
    Jon: Uh, can we just have some money? You don't want phones, why do you want to buy us?
    HP: We will let you run by yourself, we won't interfere with your phone development. We just like the WebOS on other products.
    Jon: ...
    HP: Also make a tablet that's as good as iPad.
    Jon: (taking note, make an tablet as good as iPad) ok. Can you provide some more money?
    HP: We don't want to spend more money on phone. You can run as you did before. We will keep you alive until we have a tablet to compete with iPad. You can make phones as well, just make sure you release a tablet.
    Jon: Ok, tablet first. Can you provide more R&D and marketing?
    HP: We will market tablet and associated product.
    Jon: Oh, we need to make the phone work with the tablet.
    HP: That'll be great. But we don't care about phones.
    Elevation Partners: We want our money! Sold!
    Jon: Ok.
    HP: Good, now do your work and don't bother us. (dream about how to put WebOS on toasters)
    Jon: Let's get to work on the tablet.
    Other Palm Exec.: What about Phone A, B, C?
    Jon: We can't afford to make big new phone changes. Let's just do Pre+, Pre++ (Pre 2) until tablet is out.
    Jon: Let's do the Tablet. It is fun to design new products....
    Jon: HP can we get some R&D help?
    HP: What? we are feeding you until we get the tablet. No more.
    Jon: Ok
    Other Palm Exec: ?? bye
    Palm V -> Treo 600 (lost) -> Treo 650 -> Centro -> Pre -> Photon
    sledge007 and ahsirg like this.
  2. #2  
    LOL.
    Sad part is you're probably right. It's obvious HP really didn't do much for webOS besides give Palm GBU cash to make these devices. The Veer, TouchPad & Pre 3 are all Palm designs. The Veer still has Palm batteries, the Pre 3 has the Palm charger, and one look at the TouchPad just screams Palm.

    It's unfortunate, but the only effort HP gave to make webOS succeed was throw money at it. It seems like they were just hoping plastering the HP name on everything would drive sales. I'm so upset at HP right now.

    Leo and his "Vision" for webOS; more like a day dream.
  3. #3  
    What really happened...

    Palm: Hey we are strapped for cash and you don't have a mobile portfolio.. Would you like to buy us?
    HP: We are HP. Lower your sales price and surrender your IP. Your own biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our corporate collective. Resistance is futile. You will be bought and sold at our corporate convenience.
    Palm: We are HP. We will make a tablet.
    HP: Insufficient. You will make a tablet to our own specifications.
  4. #4  
    Quote Originally Posted by zealster View Post
    What really happened...

    Palm: Hey we are strapped for cash and you don't have a mobile portfolio.. Would you like to buy us?
    HP: We are HP. Lower your sales price and surrender your IP. Your own biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our corporate collective. Resistance is futile. You will be bought and sold at our corporate convenience.
    Palm: We are HP. We will make a tablet.
    HP: Insufficient. You will make a tablet to our own specifications.
    This has me cracking up. I'm watching an episode of Star Trek Voyager right now, and it's about the Borg and Seven of Nine, lol.

    "Insufficient. You will make a tablet to our own specifications" - ROFL
  5. #5  
    Quote Originally Posted by zealster View Post
    What really happened...

    HP: Insufficient. You will make a tablet to our own specifications.
    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA :P. Nice one.
    -Travis Antonio
    Trakyng Games


    Devices:
    -Motorola Atrix 4G (1.5 Ghz) (CM7 Neutrino) (Tegra Hack H^LLA POWERFUL)
    -Palm Pre Plus *DEAD*
    -Palm Pre Plus (Mom).

    Never forget to say Thanks, God bless you all.
  6. #6  
    Thanks for the laughs
  7. cgk
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    #7  
    If we are doing funnies:

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